Heir To The Demon
by Edward Crane
Summary: Crossover with Batman.   Helga decides to spend her Spring Break looking for Arnold in the jungles of San Lorenzo.  She hires the resources of one Edward Nigma to help her with her quest.  What they find in the jungle...was not what they were expecting.
1. Welcome To The Jungle

Proofreader's Note: There's a prequel to this called "Helga On The Scarecrow's Couch," and it can be found under Edward's profile. This is a HA/DC crossover of awesome proportions, but unfortunately, I think a lot of people don't look at the crossover section, so I'm sticking this in the HA section. It deserves some attention and love. :)

* * *

Helga Pataki stepped off of the plane to San Lorenzo and gazed up at the sun.

"Criminey, that was a ten hour flight! It's miracle I'm still standing," she grumbled.

Helga, having just recently graduated from middle school, decided to spend her Spring Break searching for Arnold. After finally reuniting with his parents, Arnold had decided to move away from his hometown of Hillwood and live with his parents. Helga, heartbroken but understanding, had stayed behind. For a while, Helga truly believed she had moved on, but recently, her old feelings were beginning to return in full form. Arnold was her whole world. She had to be with him.

"Ah, the warmth of the San Lorenzo sun," replied Helga's companion as he stepped off the plane.

Upon reaching the conclusion that she needed to find Arnold, Helga began doing a little research on where to start. It had been a long time. Maybe Arnold and his family weren't even in San Lorenzo anymore. This thought brought Helga to another conclusion: she would not be able to do this alone. If she were to ever reunite with her one true love, she would need help from someone who knew what they were doing. Someone who specialized in finding people. She needed a detective. From what she had been told, she had hired the best.

"I must say, Helga, the luxury of city life can spoil a man," Edward Nigma replied as he adjusted his purple sunglasses.

"Save it, Eddie," said Helga. "I've had a long trip, and my back is killing me. I just want to find Arnold and get home."

Nigma grinned. "Just remember, Eyebrow," he said while poking Helga in the stomach with his cane, "I don't travel halfway around the world for all my other clients. I expect to get paid handsomely for the trouble I've gone through. I even offered to pay for the flight simply because I found your cause to be a very noble one. I don't want any lip."

"Yeah, yeah," Helga sighed.

This was going to be a long vacation.

* * *

The two weary travelers made their way towards a local hotel. Edward had suggested that the two begin the investigation by gathering information from the locals in the area. San Lorenzo was obviously teeming with mostly jungle. This meant that if Arnold's family were still here, chances are it wouldn't be too hard locating someone who would know where to find them. Fortunately, being the master detective he is, Nigma was able to get his hands on a photograph of Arnold that was taken two months ago. From what Helga had seen, her football-headed love-god had not changed much. He was taller, for one thing, and he dressed in clothing suitable for the hot, humid climate of San Lorenzo. He still had his precious childhood hat, though. Helga sighed longingly as she stared at the photo, then folded it up, placed it in her locket, and put it behind her shirt. She would always keep it close to her heart.

"Well, it seems we're on the right track," Edward replied as he approached the young woman. Nigma had traded in the spiffy green suit for which he had been known for a simple, yet stylish buttoned-down short-sleeve green shirt, cargo pants, and purple shades. Not a man to be caught unprepared, Nigma had also brought along a stylized wooden cane which feature a gold question mark wrapped around a silver orb at the top of the cane.

"Some of the locals have told me that the Shortmans have a small house out in the middle of a clearing in the jungle. It's close to an area where they've been conducting a great deal of research."

"Did you find out, where it is EXACTLY?" Helga asked as she crossed her arms. "'Cuz last time I checked, the jungle was a pretty big place."

"Well, we'll just have to do a little hiking then," Edward respond as he turned back towards the hotel lobby. "I'm going to grab some breakfast, recharge my batteries, take a shower, and then we can begin our expedition. I suggest you do the same."

Helga entered her room and locked the door behind her. She was a girl who valued her privacy, especially after being around a plane full of people for over ten hours. She unpacked her laptop, set it on a nearby desk, and hooked it up. She took out a USB cord from her backpack and plugged one end into her computer and the other end into her cell phone which was in desperate need of re-charging. She had already picked up some breakfast on the way to her room, so she wasn't very hungry at the moment, but she was in need of a shower. She walked to her laptop and turned on some music, then stripped off her clothes and headed into the shower to wash up.

She walked out about fifteen minutes later and examined herself in the mirror. She had a few minor scars scattered across her body that she often felt proud of, almost like a badge of honor. Two of them, however, only brought bad memories. One was located on her head, hidden under a layer of hair. It was the first scar she had received at the hands of Jonathan Crane, the Scarecrow, years before. The second, also caused by Crane, was located on the side of her stomach. She sighed and slipped on a pink-and-red shirt and a pair of cargo shorts. She then removed a cigarette from a pack she kept in her backpack, placed it between her lips, and lit the tip. She then inhaled deeply and lay down on the bed, ashtray close by. Her thoughts were of Arnold. Of how much she missed him. How much she wanted to be near him again. How much she longed to feel his touch and the sensation of his lips pressed against hers. She turned on her side, grabbed a pillow, and held it close to her chest.

"Arnold, my love," she whispered to herself.

"I will see you again, soon…I just hope beyond hope that you still want me..."

She sighed and got up, still clutching the pillow and thinking about Arnold. Helga tossed the item back on the bed and headed over to her guitar case. She removed the shining black-and-brown electric guitar from the case, sat down on the bed, and strummed a few notes. Ever since Arnold had left for San Lorenzo, she had taken up learning guitar, probably as an attempt to fill the void that he had left behind. The pig-tailed young woman was a very quick learner and, over the years, had all but mastered the instrument. After a bit of guitar practice, Helga put out her cigarette and dropped to the floor.

"One, two, three, four," she counted under her breathe as she pushed and lowered herself to-and-from the floor beneath her hands. She then flipped over and began her sit-ups next. After about thirty reps of each exercise, Helga made some space in the room for her to practice her hand-to-hand combat. She swung, kicked, and dodged invisible blows, delivering swift and efficient counter-attacks. Helga's encounter with the Scarecrow had made her feel helpless. Weak. She hated that feeling. She vowed to never be helpless again. She took several martial arts courses, even learned a few moves from Arnold's grandmother, and had become quite the badass little lady.

"Get ready, Helga, we're moving out in five minutes and I want to get back before nightfall," Nigma shouted from behind the door.

"I'm comin', keep your shirt on," Helga shouted back as she slipped on her socks and shoes. She opened the door to find Edward leaning against the wall across from her door, twirling his cane.

"I was able to get my hands on a map the jungle from a fisherman," he replied. "With any luck, it should lead us right to Arnold."

Helga flashed him a thumbs up and headed downstairs.

"A 'thank you' would've been nice," Edward sighed. He flipped up his cane and went after Helga.

* * *

"Ouch!" Helga yelped and swatted another mosquito off her arm. "Should've brought some damn bug spray or something."

Edward was too busy cutting down vines and plant life to hear Helga's complaint. To her credit, she had been quite the pleasurable company on this trip, recounting to Edward about her misadventures as a little girl. She even told him of her encounter with Jonathan Crane (something most people wouldn't live to tell). All-in-all, Edward was impressed by the young woman. She had, of course, undergone her share of bad luck during their expedition. Once she was nearly bitten by a highly poisonous snake. Another, she was almost mauled to death by a panther. The jungles of San Lorenzo were turning out to be quite treacherous indeed.

Edward stopped for a second to pull out the map and check their location. "It seems we're almost there, Helga," Edward replied. "We should be coming up on a research center any minute now."

Sure enough, out in the distance Edward could spot a small building beyond the trees. Vines and greenery had slithered up the facility's walls, making it seem like the building had been there for ages.

"Curious," said Nigma.

"What'd you say, Eddie?" Helga asked as she swatted away a large beetle.

"The building," Edward pointed a finger towards the facility. "It's covered in plant-matter."

"So? What's your point, Ed?"

"My point," Eddie began, slightly annoyed, "is that this building can't have been around that long. The place looks like an Aztec ruin."

"What do you think?" Helga was suddenly very serious.

"I think that we're about to pay a much unexpected visit to an old friend of mine…."

Pamela Isley, better known as eco-terrorist Poison Ivy, took a vial of green liquid and held it up to the sun, examining it closely. "Looks good so far," she said under her breath.

Pamela had spent the past two months in this building, studying various chemicals and experimenting on botanical genetics. She was hoping to evolve the Red Root Vine of San Lorenzo into a plant that could defend itself against the greedy corporations that sought it out to create beauty and hygiene products. People could be so careless.

"Well, at least I can prevent you from going extinct, my little pretty," Ivy told the plant.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Ivy's face displayed visible suspicion. Who'd be interrupting her research all the way out here? She put down the vial and headed for the door.

"Ivy," Edward Nigma replied as he bowed politely.

"What are you doing in Lorenzo, Nigma?" she asked, a slight edge to her tone.

"I was about to ask you the same question, Ms. Isley."

"I work here," Ivy replied angrily through clenched teeth. "Now what are you doing here?"

Edward's face twisted in confusion. "You have a job?"

"Yes, I have a job!" Ivy yelled. "I work for an environmental protection company. Sometimes, I like to get paid legitimately for what I do. Now what are you doing here, Nigma?"

Edward cleared his throat and removed a photograph from his shirt pocket. He presented it to Ivy. "Recognize them?" he asked.

Ivy took the picture from Edward and studied it for a moment. "Yes. The Shortmans. The male, Miles Shortman, is an anthropologist. The woman, Stella, is a biologist and physician, and a brilliant one at that. I've worked with her before. She's quite a woman."

"Do you know where they are now?"

Ivy shook her head. "They disappeared a few months ago."

"Did they have a boy with them?" Helga asked as she ducked past Edward and towards Ivy. "He has blonde hair and a little, blue baseball cap." She reached under her shirt, pulled out her locket, and opened it. She removed from it the recently taken photograph of Arnold and held it in front of Ivy, who studied the picture.

"Ah yes," she grinned. "I remember him. Sweet boy. He kept talking about a girl named Helga. That's you, I assume?"

Helga nodded excitedly. "He…he mentioned me?"

"Ha!" Ivy laughed, "Only every five minutes. I would have gotten sick of hearing it if not for how sweet it all was. That young man thinks the world of you, Helga. Should you find him, I suggest you don't let him out of your sight. Men like him are very rare, trust me."

Helga nodded again.

"Well," Ivy sighed, "since you're already here, why don't the two of you come in. I'll make us some green tea."

Ivy, Edward, and Helga sat in the lounge of Ivy's lab. It was nice, although a bit messy. Research notes and lab equipment were scattered throughout the room.

"I must say," Edward remarked, sipping his tea, "it's a bit messier in here than I expected. I always assumed you were something of a neat-freak."

"Yes, well, that has a little to do with my former unofficial lab partner, Harley. She was here a couple days ago, and I haven't really had time to clean up her messes."

Helga raised her brow. "Harley Quinzel?" she asked.

Ivy nodded. "You know, Harley?"

"Yeah," Helga responded, "I met her a few years ago back in Hillwood. She's pretty cool. How do you know her?"

"Harley and I go way back. I saved her from Joker several years ago. We've been close friends ever since."

"She was attacked by the Joker?" Helga asked incredulously. "She never told me that. That must've been pretty scary."

"Oh, she didn't care," Ivy shrugged. "It wouldn't be the last time."

"Wait." Helga put a hand up. "Hang on a sec...how many times has this happened?"

"Harley never told you? She's in love with the Joker."

"WHAT?" Helga gasped.

"As much as I'd like to continue this discussion," Nigma interrupted, "I'm on the clock. Ivy, Helga and I are searching for Arnold and his family. Any information you might have on their disappearance or whereabouts would be of great use to us."

Ivy sighed and leaned back in her chair. "It'll cost you," she replied.

"I'm not made of money, Ivy," Edward growled.

Ivy directed her eyes towards Helga and grinned. "Maybe your friend here can help me with my research a little bit...I happen to have concocted a little something, and I wouldn't mind testing it on a live person," Ivy suggested.

Edward turned to face Helga. "The choice is yours, Helga," he replied.

"It's not gonna kill me, or turn me into some horrific plant monster, or give me terrible acne, is it?" she asked.

"No, it's just a little injection of this serum I've been cooking up. It makes people immune to plant toxins."

"Sure," Helga shrugged, "but I want the info first."

Ivy nodded got up from the couch and motioned for the teenage girl to follow. "Miles and Stella were researching some chemicals they had discovered in a cave southeast of here," she spoke while leading Helga to a small lab station. "Apparently, the chemical was to be used in the creation of a miracle drug that could cure nearly any disease. Even cancer." She took a vial full of green liquid from one of the racks of chemicals on the table, then placed the vial into a hypodermic injector gun.

"So, this chemical…it had healing properties or something? What happened next?" Helga asked as she lifted up the sleeve on her right arm.

"No one knows," Ivy shrugged while dabbing Helga's arm with sterilized cotton swab. "Nobody's seen the Shortmans in months. Search teams were sent out but so far they haven't had much luck. Such is the way of the jungle. This may sting a bit, Helga," Ivy warned and placed the gun up against Helga's skin.

"So you think the jungle got 'em? Like maybe they were attacked by wild animals or something?" Helga flinched slightly as Ivy pulled the trigger, delivering the serum to her bloodstream.

Ivy pulled out a band-aid from one of the drawers on the table and stuck it on the girl's arm. "The jungle is a harsh, unforgiving place, Helga. People disappear in its dark embrace all the time. It's not surprising. How do you feel?"

"I don't...feel any different...," said Helga.

"That's good," Ivy responded. She took an ophthalmoscope from another drawer and examined Helga's eyes.

"I'll have to head to this cave and see what I can find," said Helga. "Maybe there'll be a clue as to what happened."

"If I were you, Helga, I'd give it up. Like I said, these things happen. If you continue your search, it'll happen to you, too. Edward's an experienced villain, but not even he would last long out here in the wild."

Helga shook her head. "He wouldn't give up on me," she replied.

Ivy just sighed. "Alright," she said and put away the scope, "everything checks out okay. Now we just check to see if it worked."

"Okay," Helga began, "so what do we do, stick me with a poison flower or-"

Helga was cut off as Ivy grabbed her by the small of her back and kissed her. Her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, and she pushed Ivy back. "What the hell?" she cried and spat on the floor. "Lady, I don't know what you heard, but I don't swing that way. I mean, sure, I've been curious before, and there was that one time when Phoebe stayed the night, and we compared breasts and...well, things got a little weird...but we've come to terms with that. It was a one-time thing."

"Helga," Ivy laughed," I just had to-"

"I think me and Ed need to get going, anyway," Helga interrupted as she backed out of the room. "It was nice meeting you, Ivy, but I really better head out." She turned and made her way over to Nigma, who was still sipping his tea. "C'mon, Eddie," she replied as she grabbed his arm, "time to go."

"Okay...nice seeing you, Pam," Edward waved as Helga pulled him out the door.

Ivy smiled and waved as the duo exited the building. She waited a few moments after the two had left and pulled out her cell phone. She hit a button for speed dial and held the phone to her ear.

"Report," the voice on the other end of the line ordered.

"I just had a couple visitors who were asking about the Shortmans," Ivy replied.

"Names?" the voice asked.

"One was Edward Nigma. The other was a girl named Helga Pataki."

The line went silent for a moment.

"Still there?" she asked.

"Repeat the second name," the voice commanded.

"Helga. Pataki," Ivy repeated.

The line went silent for another moment.

"What did you tell them," a different voice spoke on the other end of the line.

"I told them the truth. That the Shortman's were researching the cave southeast of here when they suddenly disappeared."

"What did they say?"

"The girl...," Ivy sighed, "she's a stubborn one, but don't worry; I injected her with a little something that'll slow her down."

"Very good, Ms. Isley, very good."

"When can I expect to get paid?" Ivy asked.

"You will be paid when it is deemed necessary and not a moment sooner. Return to your station. We will contact you again when your information is verified."

The line went dead.

"Whatever," Ivy sighed again as she put away her phone. Her attention turned towards the hypo injector gun and the chemical she had injected Helga with. Her thoughts went to Harley Quinn, and she smiled.

"What happened back there?" Edward asked Helga once the two were out of the building.

"She friggin' kissed me! Right outta the blue, no warning or anything!"

"That's how she tests her anti-toxins. Her kiss is quite deadly; if the serum had not worked, you would have been killed. She didn't mean to offend you or anything."

"Well, she could have warned me, at least," Helga grumbled.

"Tell me, Helga, did you notice anything unusual back there at Ivy's?"

"Ya mean besides the kiss?" Helga thought for a moment. "Come to think of it, the place seems a little isolated for a research center...and I didn't see any logos or insignias on any of the equipment. Or the building."

"Very astute observation, Helga," Edward remarked, genuinely impressed.

"While you and Ivy were...fooling around in her lab, I took the liberty of doing a little detective work and snooped around her building."

"Anything unusual?"

"Well," Nigma began, "for starters, she lied to us. The funding for her research isn't coming from any 'environmental protection organization'."

"How could you tell?"

"Receipts. I searched that place practically from top to bottom and found nothing regarding where she gets her funding. No receipts, no checks, no bank notes, nothing. Whoever's funding her is doing it with cold, hard, untraceable cash. Which means three things." Helga watched and listened as Edward began pacing the area. "One, they don't want anyone to know that Ivy is working for them. Two, they don't want anyone to know who they are. And three," he stopped and turned to look at Helga, "they are very, very, wealthy. Especially if they're paying in cash. This also means that whoever we're dealing with, they're most likely quite dangerous."

"Any idea who it might be?" Helga asked.

Edward put his back to Helga and rubbed his chin, deep in thought. "I have a theory...," he said quietly. He snapped out of his thoughts and turned back towards Helga. "Anyway, it's just a theory. Come on," he twirled his cane as he talked, "let's head to this cave and find out for ourselves."

Helga shrugged and followed Edward back into the jungle. A bead of sweat ran down his brow. If his theory on who is behind the disappearance of the Shortmans was correct, he and Helga were in terrible danger.

* * *

It was a good three hour trek through the jungle before they finally reached the little house the cozy research lab the Shortmans had called home. Throughout their journey, Edward had taught Helga a few lessons about being a detective.

"A mystery," he had said, "is a lot like a puzzle. You have to look at it from every conceivable angle. You can't just walk onto a crime scene and start forming a hypothesis. Solving a crime isn't easy. For one, it takes an incredible amount of observational skill. You have to be able to see things that even the killer himself missed. Also, it requires patience. Patience, Helga is the key to any successful endeavor, especially crime solving. You have to have the patience to check every possible detail. Every carpet fiber, every object, every last piece of evidence must be analyzed and studied carefully."

Helga nodded and listened carefully to everything Edward Nigma told her. She was a tomboy with a big mouth, but she sure as hell wasn't stupid. She knew that every word Edward had to say was something worth hearing. She knew the eccentric detective was nobody's fool.

Edward stopped Helga just before they entered the house.

"What gives?" Helga asked.

"Just wait here for a sec," Edward replied suspiciously.

He put his back to the wall adjacent to the door, looked at Helga, and put a finger over his lip. He gently pushed the door open and stuck his cane inside. He waited for a moment before peeking his head in. The place was trashed.

Clothes, science equipment, and other random objects were littered throughout the room. The doors to the other areas of the house appeared to have been broken open. He entered the building and took a good look around, examining the room carefully.

"Shit, what happened here?" Edward heard Helga say as she entered the house.

"Thought I asked you to stay outside?"

"Yeah, well I was getting eaten alive out there by goddamn mosquitoes, bucko. Besides, I'm not a little girl anymore. I can handle myself."

Edward merely grunted and stooped down to examine the scene a little more thoroughly.

"So whaddya think happened here?" Helga asked, and Edward cringed a little as he heard something crunch beneath her feet. "Did they get attacked by wild animals?"

"No," Edward shook his head, "The fridge is wide open, but there's still food inside. If animals had done this, they would have gone for the fridge, too. Plus, there aren't any signs that animals have been in here. No, I'd say this was done by people."

"You don't think they...hurt them…?" Helga asked with visible alarm.

"No, there aren't any signs of a struggle."

"Whaddya call this then," Helga asked as she gestured around the room, "a house party?"

Edward, still studying the crime scene, ignored Helga's sarcasm. "There isn't any blood or torn pieces of clothing. There aren't any weapons or anything that could be used as a weapon, lying around. Whoever did this was looking for something."

"Why would they leave the place so trashed then? They had to have known somebody was gonna come looking for them. It'd look WAY too suspicious."

"Very true," Edward replied, raising his index finger, "but there are two possible reasons for this: either the intruders needed to find whatever it is they were looking for in a hurry, or...they wanted to send a message."

"Why?" Helga queried, lifting her brow.

"Because Ivy told them we were coming, and they wanted to scare us away," Nigma answered as if the question were obvious. "Let's go check out that cave," he said as he got up and brushed himself off.

Fortunately, for the two weary travelers, the cave was a mere fifteen minute hike from the house. Edward and Helga paused outside the entrance and peered in. Nothing. They looked at each other, nodded, and headed inside.

The cave wasn't unusual from any Helga or Edward had seen. Running along the ceiling of it were wires with lights attached to them, safely illuminating their way.

"Echo!" Helga called, and she was met by the sound of her own voice reverberating along the walls of the cavern.

"Never speaking, still awake,  
Pleasing most when most I speak,  
The Delight of old and young,  
Tho' I speak without a Tongue.  
Naught but one Thing can confound me,  
Many Voices joining round me;  
Then I fret, and rave and gabble,  
Like the Laborers of Babel.  
Now I am a Dog, or Cow,  
I can bark, or I can low,  
I can bleat, or I can sing,  
Like the Warblers of the Spring.  
Let the Love-sick Bard complain,  
And I mourn the cruel Pain;  
Let the happy Swain rejoice,  
And I join my helping Voice;  
Both are welcome, Grief or Joy,  
I with either sport and toy.  
Tho' a Lady, I am stout,  
Drums and Trumpets bring me out;  
Then I clash and roar, and rattle,  
Join in all the Din of Battle.  
Jove, with all his loudest Thunder,  
When I'm vexed, can't keep me under;  
Yet so tender is my Ear,  
That the lowest Voice I fear;  
For I hate a silent Breath,  
And a Whisper is my Death.  
What am I?" Edward recited.

Helga looked up at Edward.

"That was beautiful," she replied with admiration.

"Yes, it's one of my favorite riddles."

"What's the answer?"

"You already said it." Edward stopped and crouched down to examine something on the cave floor.

"What is it?" Helga asked anxiously.

"We're not alone...," Nigma ominously replied.

"Bears?" Helga glanced around nervously.

Edward turned to her and grinned. "Bears? In the jungle?"

"Or...something else?" Helga shrugged.

Edward chuckled and got back to his feet. "People, Helga. Most likely the same people responsible for the Shortmans' disappearance."

"You don't think I gave us away with that echo, do you?"

"No," Edward shook his head, "whoever these people are, they're professionals. They already know we're here. Just act casual. We'll allow this mystery to unfold before us. C'mon, let's keep moving."

The two continued their journey to the end of the cavern and whatever it was they would find at the end of the tunnel. Every so often, when the two travelers came upon a fork in the path, Edward would halt their progress and kneel down to examine the ground. He would then point out the proper direction, and the two would continue.

"So Helga, what do you intend on doing once this little quest of yours is over?" Edward had asked along the way.

Helga thought for a moment. "Well, I guess it would depend on Arnold. Once, he told me he cared about me more than nearly anything. I loved him...and...I hoped that he loved me. He told me he did, but..."

"But he wanted to be with his parents," Edward finished.

"Yeah. I just have to know if he really does love me. I'm willing to wait for him, if he ever decides to come back to Hillwood..."

"And if he doesn't?"

Helga was silent for a moment. "Well...then I'll just have to go back to Hillwood, I guess..."

She tried hard to keep the sadness from showing in her voice, but Edward Nigma was a master detective. He gave the young woman a comforting smile. "Well, Helga," he said with a twirl of his cane, "I've often found in my line of work that sometimes when you find the answer to a question you've spent your whole life asking, it just doesn't seem like much of an answer anymore."

Helga pondered the meaning of Edward's cryptic metaphor. "Am I wasting my time here, Edward?" she asked sadly, melancholic expression on her face.

"True love is never a waste of time. It's one of life's greatest riddles." Helga was silent for a moment. Edward cleared his throat. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you...," he began.

"Yeah?" Helga asked.

"How did you get the money to pay me? My services don't exactly come cheap. Though you did, of course, only pay me half of what you owe as is customary, but ten grand is a lot of money. Especially for a fourteen-year-old girl and I know you aren't particularly wealthy, either."

"My sister loaned me the money," Helga replied.

"That was nice of her," said Nigma, a slight hint of suspicion in his voice. "Ten thousand dollars is a lot of money. She must be doing quite well for herself."

"Yeah, she's...she's doing...great..."

This was only partially true. Not long ago, Olga had gotten a major role in a Broadway show about a cheerleader who contracts cancer. The show was a big success, and Olga's performance was, as usual, perfect. Unfortunately, she hadn't been able to land another audition and was losing money steadily due to her new high-maintenance boyfriend. As such, Olga was only able to loan Helga six thousand, four thousand less than she actually needed, but it didn't matter. Helga was sure she would be able to work something out with Nigma. All she cared about at the moment was finding Arnold.

"Well, I'm sure your parents must be very proud to have two very creative children."

"HA! Yeah right," Helga sneered. "My 'parents' idolize Olga. I'm lucky if I ever get an honorable mention."

"Oh?" Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Helga continued, "my 'dad' doesn't give a shit about anybody but himself. That's how it's always been. The only reason he even piles on all the adoration for her is because she's SOOO damn prefect, and it makes HIM look good," she sighed. "They don't even notice me..." Helga saw something out of the corner of her eye. "Wait a sec." She leaned down to observe a puddle of greenish liquid by the cave wall.

Edward walked over to Helga and crouched beside her, observing her find.

"Better not touch it," Helga warned, "it's toxic."

Edward gave Helga a curious glance. "How do you know?" he asked.

"Well, for starters, it's friggin' green. Secondly, it doesn't appear to be natural in this cave. The walls and ceiling are bone-dry, so it's not coming from anywhere in the tunnel," she gestured with her hand towards the walls and ceiling of the cavern.

Edward nodded and rubbed his chin. "Just a theory though. Still," he turned to Helga and smiled. "it's something I didn't notice, and it's a damn good theory with reasonable observations. You've been paying attention. I'm proud of you."

He patted Helga on the shoulder and got back on his feet. Helga stared up at him for a moment. It was something about the way he said it: 'I'm proud of you.' It felt...REAL. Genuine. Nobody had ever told her that before. Oh sure, some of her teachers had complimented her creative writing talents before, but she didn't really pay too much attention to what they had to say. What did they know about her? They were just teachers. However, Edward was different. He was highly intelligent, a certifiable genius; and not some robot-building, mad scientist genius. He was a genius in a more modest, realistic way. He was a genius of words and creativity, not so unlike Helga. She actually took interest in what Edward Nigma had to say, and now, he said he was proud of her. Something her parents never even once told her. She blushed.

"Are you coming, Helga?" Edward called ahead of her.

Helga snapped out of her thoughts, got up, and headed towards Nigma. "Hey, Eddie?" she asked as they continued their trek down the cavern's tunnels. "What were you like as a kid?"

Edward palmed his chin for a moment, reflecting back on his childhood. "It was...typical, I guess? I was a bit of a character in school. Never had a whole lot of friends though. My father was abusive. He would hit me, call me names, sometimes just outright ignore me. Truth is, he was jealous. I was very successful in my academic endeavors and, sadly, this caused me to be bullied by not only my father, but by a few of my peers as well. One day, the class was involved in a contest. There was a puzzle; it was sort of a cross between a Rubik's cube and a jigsaw puzzle, and there was a reward for whoever solved it the fastest. Naturally, I won the competition and was rewarded with a large book of riddles. I swear," Nigma laughed, "I must've read that book from cover-to-cover at least fifteen times."

"Wow," Helga remarked.

"Yes," Edward's smile faded, "but my father...he wouldn't have any of it. He came at me hard that day. Broke my jaw, my arm, knocked out a few of my baby teeth. He said I had cheated. That I was...stupid. A nothing... LESS than nothing...a cheater." Edward let the sentence linger.

Helga just stared at him, shocked by what she had heard. She had father issues, too, but...damn. "I'm sorry," she replied in a comforting tone.

"Don't be," Edward sighed, "he was right." Suddenly, he halted his advance and flattened against the wall, motioning for Helga to do the same.

There were voices coming from around the next corner, but they were speaking a language Helga couldn't understand. She saw Eddie's eyes widen. He suddenly looked ghostly pale.

"What're they saying?" Helga whispered.

Edward spun around and gripped Helga's shoulders. "Get back to the house now," he whispered.

"What?" Helga asked in bewilderment. "What're they-"

"Just do it!" Edward whispered harshly.

Helga shook her head. "I'm not leaving here without you."

Edward pulled a hidden sword from his cane. "I'll be fine, but this is something I need to do alone. Now go. Hurry!"

"What if they come back?"

Edward shook his head, irritated. "They won't, they got what they came for. Now get GOING."

She turned and reluctantly hurried off to the ruined home of the Shortmans. She turned back once to see if Edward was okay, but he was gone.


	2. Dinner With The Demon

Helga, a little winded, was finally nearing the end of the cave. "I hope he's okay...," she whispered under her breath.

Once she was safely out of the cave, she yawned and stretched. She was tired. All the hiking and trekking through the jungle with few breaks in between was finally beginning to take its toll on the young woman. She just wanted to find Arnold, tell him she loved him, hear it back, and maybe take a nice little nap curled up in his arms. She sighed.

Suddenly, Helga felt a hand roughly grabbing her shoulder. Her reflexes, which were a lot quicker than she expected, kicked in, and she grabbed the would-be attacker by the arm and hurled him to the ground in front of her. The strange attacker was wearing some kind of green-and-black ninja garb, complete with face mask. He moaned as he lay there in the dirt in front of Helga. It was at that moment that she noticed something... It was the shape of his head. Helga knew that head anywhere.

"Tryin' to sneak up on a poor, unsuspecting lady, eh, Football Head?"

The attacker's eyes grew huge with recognition, and he pulled off his mask, revealing the face of the boy she had traveled several thousand miles just to see.

"Helga?" he gasped. "Wha-what are you doing here?"

Helga crossed her arms in front of her, a smug expression on her face. "I came to see you, Hair Boy. Doi!" she replied and grinned as she held a hand out to Arnold, helping him up from the ground.

Arnold brushed himself off. "How did you get here?" he asked.

"I came here with a friend of mine. Edward Nigma."

Arnold's eyes widened in alarm. "The Riddler? You came here with the Riddler? He's an international criminal!"

"'WAS' an international criminal," Helga corrected. "He's a reformed detective now." A crestfallen look swept over Helga's face, and she lowered her arms. "S-so...," she stammered nervously, "h-how are you...?"

"I'll tell you how I am," Arnold replied, slightly annoyed. "I've been wandering around the damn jungle for MONTHS looking for my parents who were kidnapped by some kind of ninjas dressed like this," he gestured to the clothes he had on, "and I still don't have a single clue as to where they've taken them. I was able to capture a few of them, but they couldn't speak English." He sighed and angrily kicked a nearby rock into the jungle.

"You didn't try calling anyone for help?" Helga asked reluctantly.

"Search parties showed up, but they were absolutely useless. I hid from them. I knew they'd try to take me back if they found me." Arnold paced towards a nearby tree and leaned against it. "I'm not leaving here without finding out what happened to my parents. I spent too damn long searching for them just to have them taken from me again." He slammed his fist into the tree, angrily.

"I'm...sorry, Arnold," Helga sadly replied. She approached him and gently put her hand on his shoulder.

He spun around to face her. "Well," he began, "here I am. You have something you need to tell me?"

Helga took her hand off his shoulder and nervously rubbed her other arm, looking away from him as she did so. "Well, I...," she stammered and then looked him in the eyes. "Arnold, I came all this way to see you because, well, I really missed you."

"That's why?" Arnold replied incredulously. "You came all the way from Hillwood just to tell me you missed me? What, you couldn't write a letter or something?"

"Well, it's not like you ever wrote ME any!" Helga angrily replied.

"I was a little busy, in case what I told you earlier wasn't clear enough."

"Well...I..." Helga stumbled with her words a bit, not really knowing how to respond. She sighed, defeated.

"Were you staying at the Santiago Hotel?" Arnold asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, come on," Arnold took Helga by the hand and started leading her towards the hotel. "Let's get you back to-"

Helga yanked her hand away. "I don't need you to lead me around like a child. I can handle myself."

"You don't know how dangerous these people are, Helga," Arnold retorted.

"If I'm not mistaken," Helga smugly remarked, "I'm pretty sure it was me who put your ass in the dirt when you tried to grab me earlier."

"You don't know these people like I do, Helga," he replied sternly. "They're dangerous. I've seen them kill people."

"I'm not afraid, Arnold." Helga stubbornly remarked. She stood her ground; arms crossed defiantly and squinted her eyes at him.

"Go home, Helga," he said.

"Not a chance, Hair Boy."

Arnold gave a defeated sigh. "C'mon, I've got a camp not far away. We'll finish this conversation there."

He led her through the vast jungles of San Lorenzo, barely saying a word to her throughout the entire journey. This wasn't at all what Helga expected to find when she arrived in Lorenzo. She expected to see the young man she loved thrilled to see her, living happily with his parents. Instead, what she found was an angry young man bitter at the injustice of having his parents ripped from his life once more. He was not the kind, sweet boy she knew back in Hillwood. However, Helga refused to give up. Somehow, she would find her lover buried beneath the rough exterior he had built around himself. She would have her Arnold back.

Every now and then, Arnold would stop, look around suspiciously, and examine the area. Once he had asserted everything to be safe for further travel, the two would continue. He led her to a small open clearing with a tent and campfire pit.

"You can sleep in the tent tonight," Arnold told her. "I only go in there when I absolutely need to. I don't even really get much sleep anymore. Gotta keep my eyes peeled."

Helga sighed and shook her head helplessly, then walked into the tent with her pack.

"Just set your belongings anywhere," Arnold replied as he sat down near the tent, legs crossed, and examined the area.

A few minutes later, Helga walked out with a cigarette in her mouth. She sat down across from Arnold and lit it. "Want one?" she offered him the pack.

"You smoke?" he asked, not quite happy with this new information.

"Yeah," Helga replied, taking a drag. "Is that a problem?" Arnold grunted in response, and she rolled her eyes, taking another drag from the cigarette. "Somebody's been here," she remarked after taking a look around.

"Nobody has been here, Helga," Arnold sighed. "There aren't even any footprints."

Helga got up and made her way to the edge of the clearing. "Look," she said, pointing to a broken tree branch. "From the way this branch has been snapped, it obviously wasn't done by an animal. There's no bird large enough to break something this large; plus, it's too out-of-the-way for something larger."

She continued to investigate the area around the tree branch and Arnold scoffed. "Helga, it was just an animal. They're all over the place in the jungle."

"You can't solve a mystery just by acting tough and looking around," Helga replied. "You have to be able to see the bigger picture. Look at it from every possible angle and form a theory based on logical conclusions."

"Since when did you become 'World's Greatest Detective'?" Arnold sarcastically remarked.

Helga turned and marched towards him. "What the hell is your problem, anyway?" she demanded angrily.

"Oh, gee, Helga, I dunno. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my parents have been kidnapped by armed murderers, and I've been living out in the jungle by myself for three months."

"And I want to help you, Football Head. That's why I'm here."

"No, it isn't," Arnold shot back. "You came here for your own selfish reasons. You couldn't stand not having me around, so you spent God knows how much money to come all the way here, and for what? You think I'll just drop everything I had here and go back to Hillwood with you? That I'm just going to abandon my parents, whom I've spent so long trying to see again, to fulfill your childish fantasies? Grow up, Helga."

She wanted to say something; she wanted to be angry, but she couldn't find the words. There was a long silence. "So…," she hesitantly began, "you don't love me anymore."

Arnold sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I never said that, Helga. Why won't you listen?"

Helga clenched her fists in irritation and then noticing something behind Arnold. She slowly brought her hands up. "We've got guests, Arnold."

Arnold turned around to see a large squad of armed, masked men heading towards them. They were the same people who were responsible for the disappearance of his parents.

"We surrender," Helga calmly replied.

"The hell we do," Arnold growled and leaped at one of the kidnappers in front of him.

"Arnold, wait!" Helga cried.

The kidnapper Arnold had tried to attack swung his assault rifle, savagely connecting with Arnold's temple and sending him crumbling to the ground, unconscious.

"That was stupid, Arnold," Helga said under her breath and shook her head sadly.

Three of the other armed men approached Helga and roughly bound her hands together. Then they patted her down for concealed weaponry.

"Easy on the goods, fellas," she remarked when one of the armed men got a little too rough with her more personal areas. Another guard stuck something into her neck, and she felt her knees buckle. "What the fu-?" was all she could get out before she slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

She awoke bound to a wooden chair in the middle of a humongous room with torches lined up along the walls. The floor was pure marble with a mixture of Arabic and Japanese writing etched into it. Also lining the walls were the same armed men from before - only this time, there were much more of them. In front of her was a long, extravagant staircase with a scarlet carpet leading up to a shadowed doorway. Next to her, also bound to a chair, was Arnold. His eyes, one of them blackened, narrowed viciously as he stared intently at the shadowed doorway.

A beautiful woman with long, raven-black hair emerged from the darkness of the doorway. She wore a plain white blouse with black pants and a pistol strapped to her right hip.

"Greetings, Mr. Shortman, Ms. Pataki," she greeted cheerfully when she made her way to the end of the stairs. Her voice had a hint of a Middle Eastern accent to it that Helga found annoying.

"Where are my parents?" Arnold replied, a touch of malice in his voice.

"Rest assured, Mr. Shortman, your parents are quite safe."

"Who the hell are you, anyway? Some kinda Bond Girl reject or something?"

One of the larger guards walked over and back-handed Helga across the face, drawing blood. "Infidel!" he shouted as he slapped her.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HER!" Arnold screamed and jerked forward in his chair.

Helga looked over at him, licking the blood from her lips. "Nice to know you still care, Football Head."

For a split-second, she thought she saw the young man blush.

"Our guests are NOT to be harmed," the black-haired woman warned and shot Helga's attacker a menacing glare. The large man bowed and took several steps back. The woman looked towards Helga and Arnold, and smiled. "You must forgive him; he often gets a little over-protective of my father and me."

"Who are you? And what does your father have to do with any of this?" Arnold demanded.

"There will be plenty of time for introductions at dinner. You are our guests, so you will be well fed. You will also be meeting my father, so you might want to dress appropriately." She looked at Arnold. "Mr. Shortman, you will be taken to your room and fitted for a nice suit." Her eyes then went to Helga. "Ms. Pataki, as you are Mr. Shortman's beloved, I will personally over see your…makeover."

"Never been much for make-up," Helga replied smugly.

"Clearly," the woman shot back, lifting an eye-brow.

What was clear to Helga was that she and 'Pussy Galore' over there weren't going to get along very well.

Arnold sat at the end of a long oak dinner table, no longer restrained to his seat. He was wearing a dark-blue tuxedo with matching tie (apparently, it had been made from "the finest silk known to man") and his blue hat had been removed and placed into his right coat pocket. His arms were folded across his chest, and he sneered at each guard stationed in the room. As hospitable as they were being, his current "hosts" were still holding him and the woman he loved prisoner, but at least he might be getting the chance to learn about the fate of his parents. The woman he and Helga had met earlier had assured him that the Shortmans had not been harmed, but Arnold was not entirely certain what to believe at this point.

"Criminey, these damn pantyhose," Helga complained as she entered the room.

Arnold looked over at the commotion, and his heart skipped a beat.

She was gorgeous. Her hair was worn down with her familiar pink bow tied at the bottom; the long, sparkling black dress she wore was perfectly fitted to her shapely, athletic body with a long cut up the side that exposed her legs all the way up to the thigh. Her trademark unibrow had been parted, mascara had been applied around her eyes, and she sported a dark crimson lipstick.

Noticing Arnold staring at her, Helga blushed and took a seat across from him.

"You…," Arnold stammered. "You look…great."

Helga leaned over the table, placing her hand beneath her chin. "Don't I always?" she remarked, batting her eyelashes at the boy.

Arnold snickered and turned towards a door at the other end of the room that had swung open.

"Greetings, Mr. Shortman, Ms. Pataki," said the man who had entered the room.

He was tall and regal in appearance with his forest green tunic and cape and black-and-gold pants, possibly in his forties. His hair was jet-black with touches of grey here and there, and he had the strangest goatee that resembled a set of pincers on either side of his chin.

"Who are you?" Arnold asked.

"I go by many names in many countries," the old man began. "Some call me The Demon; others, the Immortal One. You may refer to me as Ra's Al Ghul."

Helga snorted. "I refer to it as 'cheesy'."

The large man who had attacked Helga earlier stepped forward from behind Al Ghul and walked towards Helga angrily. "Infidel!" he shouted, lifting a hand.

"That's enough, Ubu," Ra's calmly ordered.

Ubu stopped and returned to his place behind Al Ghul.

"Where are my parents?" Arnold demanded. "What have you done to them?"

"Your parents are perfectly safe, young Shortman," Ra's assured. "I would not harm my own people."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Arnold asked suspiciously.

"Your parents, Miles and Stella, work for me. They have for years. Just as your grandmother once did."

"HA!" Arnold laughed mockingly. "Now I know you're lying. My grandmother is in her late eighties, while you don't look a day over forty-five."

"Your skepticism is not unexpected," said Ra's as he took his seat at the head of the table. He snapped his fingers, and a score of servants entered the room carrying covered silver platters of food and set them on the table. "Over the course of many years," he went on, "I have unlocked the secrets of immortality. One such secret, that of the Lazarus pits, was being researched by your parents. I had assigned them the task of using the Lazarus chemicals to create a miracle drug that would be used to cure disease, but only to those who have proven themselves…worthy."

A servant approached Helga and poured her a glass of wine. She looked up at him. "Can I get a smoke?" she asked, motioning to her lips with her index and middle fingers.

"That's incredibly selfish," Arnold said to Ghul. "If you can create a cure to cancer, AIDS, all diseases, anyone should have the chance to take it; regardless of how much money they have."

Ghul chuckled. "This is not about something as trivial as personal wealth, Mr. Shortman. This is about the stability and continued preservation of the human race, as well as the planet itself."

"This is pretty good," Helga replied, shoveling another mouthful of filet mignon past her lips.

"I'm listening," Arnold told Ghul.

"The world is dying, Mr. Shortman," Ghul went on. "Humanity continues to overpopulate; pollution levels are sky-rocketing; environmental disasters are on the rise. If mankind continues on this path of destruction, we may not survive to make it through the next few decades."

"What does this have to do with my parents?"

Ra's Al Ghul leaned back in his chair and stroked his chin. "It began many years ago with your grandmother, Gertrude. She was in childbirth with your father and was experiencing…complications. Your grandmother had been afflicted with a terrible disease that was eating her away from the inside. She and her husband, Philip, searched far and wide for a cure to her illness, but, alas, their efforts yielded little results. One fateful evening, they encountered one of my elite guard, a man named Hummad, who told them of a great physician in the east who would be able to cure her. Desperate for an end to Gertrude's suffering, she and Philip traveled to the Himalayas to search for the mysterious physician." His eyes narrowed, and he grinned. "They found him. I told Gertrude of the supernatural properties of the Lazarus Pits; that they're magical energies could rid her of her illness and restore her vigor. Naturally, she accepted, but there was a price…I informed Gertrude that the energies of the pits were not to be used by anyone who merely staggered into my temple. If she wished to save herself and her son, she must swear her allegiance to The Fang That Protects the Demon, my own personal army of the world's greatest assassins. She accepted, albeit hesitantly, and was taken to the Pits where she was cured of her ailment. Afterwards, she began her training and initiation into the League of Assassins, becoming one of our finest operatives. One of her preferred tactics was to feign lunacy, causing her opponents to greatly underestimate her. It was a practice of hers that quickly became habitual."

Ghul paused for a moment to sip his glass of wine. He stared, lost deep in thought, and then shook his head.

"We were…close at one point," he spoke slowly. "Her husband, however, refused to leave her side. He wanted nothing more than to join the Fang and prove himself worthy of fighting at the side of the woman he loved. He spent months, years, honing himself to peak physical perfection; studying the ways of our organization, learning the skills necessary to become chosen, but…for reasons I will not at this moment reveal…he was never allowed admittance. He was unworthy. Broken in heart and soul, Philip left my temple, sulking back to his home of Hillwood in the United States. Gertrude was also crushed by the unfortunate separation from her beloved. I…did my best to comfort her, emotionally as well as physically." He took another long stare into his glass of wine. "But to no avail," he whispered sadly. "Gertrude's heart belonged to another and, despite my best efforts, there was absolutely nothing I could do to sway her passion towards my favor. At last, there came a time where I could stand to see her heartbroken no longer. She came to me one night, injured after a successful mission. I, of course, took it upon myself to heal her, and during her treatment, she revealed to me the depths of her loneliness. We conversed for many hours that night; I telling her of my grand designs to heal the planet, she telling me of her wish to live a normal life at her husband's side. Things…progressed, and she fell asleep in my arms that night."

"You slept with her?" Arnold asked curiously, somewhat angrily.

"Yes," Ghul responded, "but unfortunately for me, physical passion remained far from my reach. However, I had believed that I had had finally succeeded in making Gertrude my own, but alas, when I awoke, I found her crying over a picture of her former lover. Unable to see the beautiful young woman in such a state of unrest, I stood from my bed and cast her from the League forever more. She spent the rest of her days living happily with her beloved, and the two would remain together from that moment on, never to part ways again, but our story does not end there."

Helga listened to Ghul's story intently, drinking in every word. She was mesmerized by his tale of adventure and forbidden love. One day, she hoped to share a similar fate with her beloved Arnold. She looked over at the man she was so fond of. He was so handsome in his blue tuxedo, and Helga couldn't suppress a longing sigh at the very sight of him. Despite the many changes she had gone through over the years, she was still that same little girl who worshipped the very ground he walked on. However, over the years, Arnold had changed. His heart had been hardened by the injustices he had received at the hands of this "Ra's Al Ghul", and all he wanted was to see his parents returned to him safely. Perhaps there was no more room in his life for Helga? Perhaps he had moved on? No. His reaction to her assault at the hand of Ubu had demonstrated to her that the boy she had fallen in love with was still there, and she would find him. Somehow.

"Continue," Arnold urged Ghul, clearly interested in the tale he had been weaving.

"It would seem history has a tendency to repeat itself," Ra's began. He looked at Arnold. "You are no doubt aware of the strange circumstances surrounding your birth?"

Arnold nodded. "My parents were delivering medicine to jungle natives when I was born. My birth happened at the same time as the eruption of a nearby volcano. The locals believed that it was some kind of…omen; that I would become an important individual who would, one day, 'save the world'. Never really bought into it too much."

Ra's Al Ghul bowed his head in approval. "Correct. Your unintended involvement with the erupted volcano, however, does indeed bear some kind of omen. An omen I intend to benefit from."

"What does any of this have to do with me?" Arnold asked again, his voice edged with irritation.

"The eruption covered the entire area of that jungle, killing thousands. Your mother was gravely injured during the unfortunate disaster; scarred beyond recognition and in critical condition. Your father was inconsolable at this time. He was horrified at the notion of his only son growing up without the love of his mother. Eventually, he learned of a miraculous healing chemical that would restore his young wife and spare you the sorrow of growing up without a mother. He found the Pits, but, more importantly…he found me. My League of Assassins easily apprehended your father and brought him before me. He told me of his blight; of his poor wife disfigured and dying in a hospital bed back in America; of his search for a way to restore her wife's health and beauty. The one area of his tale that I found most intriguing was the events surrounding your birth. I had been informed of the volcanic eruption in South America, of the thousands who perished in its fiery wake. It was a sad story, but knowing that life had sprung from such a disaster greatly intrigued me. I made your father an offer: I would allow the use of my Lazarus Pits to restore your mother in exchange for the loyal service of your parents at a time of my choosing. He was hesitant, at first, but upon learning that when the time came for your parents to uphold their part of the bargain, you would be safe with your grandparents, he agreed. Your mother was cured, and your parents were free to raise you as they saw fit until I required their services."

"What'd you make them do?" Arnold growled angrily.

"Nothing that involved my more…questionable endeavors. They were to use their own specific areas of expertise to heal the world. Your father discovered many ancient relics used to deliver knowledge to the ages as well as fund my activities. Your mother healed the sick and created medicines for various ailments. Nothing that would, in your eyes, soil their good names. However, there was one part of their bargain they did not foresee. When your parents entered my services…so did you."

Arnold narrowed his eyes. "You tricked them."

"That is one interpretation, yes," Ghul replied casually, sipping from his glass of wine.

"And what would Arnold be doing to…'service' you?" Helga asked.

"It is simple." Ra's placed the tips of his fingers together and brought them in front of his face. "For years now, I have required someone who would carry on my work once I have vanished from this world, never to return. I have chosen Arnold to perform this service."

"You want me to be your heir," Arnold stated flatly.

"Yes," Ghul answered.

Arnold placed his hands on the table and leaned forward towards Ghul. "And what if I say 'no'?"

Ghul chuckled evilly. "Mr. Shortman, I am afraid you have been misled. This is not up for debate. If you refuse…." He motioned towards Helga. "Your beloved shall pay the price for your insolence."

Arnold stood up from his chair. "If you touch her, I'll kill you."

Ra's grinned. "Ubu," he said to his colossal guardian, "take Ms. Pataki to the prison level."

Arnold shot out of his chair towards Ra's Al Ghul, determined to end the terrorist once and for all for harming his loved ones.

"Arnold, stop!" Helga shouted.

Arnold halted his advance and gave Helga a curious look. "There's no point fighting him now," she continued and gave Ra's a malicious glare. "He's won this round."

Ubu assisted Helga out of her seat and marched her out of the room. Arnold turned to Ghul angrily and snarled. "You're not going to get away with this."

"Please, Mr. Shortman," Ghul chuckled, "I've heard that many times before."

Three guards surrounded Arnold and escorted him back to his chambers.


	3. A Fine Time For Inner Reflection, Robin

Helga sat on the floor in the corner of her prison cell, pondering the tale Ra's had told. During the whole story, Helga had listened intently and studied the area, using the same detective techniques Edward Nigma had taught her during their search for Arnold. Applying the techniques she had learning got her thinking about the eccentric detective and whether or not he had been captured. She sighed and got up from the floor.

"Well, Helga old girl," she said to herself, "time to see if any of what you learned was worth a damn."

She approached the door to her cell and examined the bars covering the small window at the top. She reached out and tested their strength.

"No good," she whispered. "No surprise there, I guess."

She looked around the room, searching for an air vent. She noticed one on the ceiling in the far corner of the room, but it was far too small for her to fit through. "Criminey, how the heck's a girl supposed to break outta here?"

She heard a slight commotion coming from the hallway beyond the door, so she pressed her ear to it. "Hello…?" she called hesitantly.

There was silence for a moment before she heard the sound of footsteps heading towards her cell. The sound stopped right in front of her door, and the jingling of keys was heard.

"Arnold?" she asked hopefully.

"Arnold?" a voice behind the door echoed back.

It was a voice Helga did not recognize, but its owner sounded like a boy close to her own age. "Who are you?" she asked suspiciously.

There was a short silence. "You're a girl?" the voice asked.

Helga rolled her eyes. "No, I'm a talking coyote," she replied sarcastically.

She heard him snicker. "Well, if you don't mind me saying, you sound pretty hot for a coyote."

"Why don't ya open this door and find out?"

She heard the keys jingle again and enter the lock on the other side of the door. There was a sharp click, and it swung open to reveal a handsome young teenager wearing garish red-and-green costume with a black domino mask over his eyes. "What're you supposed to be?" she asked, unimpressed.

The young man gestured to his costume. "You mean you don't recognize Robin, the Boy Wonder?" he asked rather cockily.

Helga raised an eyebrow. "So what? You're supposed to be a super-hero or something?"

Robin's jaw dropped. "C'mon, you must've heard of me. I'm the leader of the Teen Titans! You've heard of the Teen Titans, right?"

"Ah, so you're a member of the Titans. Does that mean you know Raven? She was always my favorite."

Robin's shoulders slumped. "Figures," he muttered under his breath.

Tim Drake, otherwise known as Robin, looked the girl up and down. She was remarkably beautiful, and Tim did have a thing for blondes. Dick always liked red heads. He wondered what the superhero known as Nightwing was up to right now. Wait, why was he thinking about Dick? Didn't he have something to do? He looked around, a tad embarrassed and heard the young woman clear her throat. "Yeah, we should probably get out of here soon," he replied, still distracted by the beauty of the woman in front of him.

"Ah, I see you've done this before," Helga quipped.

Robin couldn't suppress a laugh that went on a little too long. When he was done, he cleared his throat, and there was an awkward silence. Helga stood in front of him, tapping her foot and grinning. Here was this famous super-hero (yes, she knew who Robin was; she just thought it would be funny to mess with him), and despite all of his training, he just couldn't get it together in front of Helga. She was quite flattered, naturally. I mean, how often does one have a super-hero swooning over them? Yes, she was definitely going to enjoy teaming up with the young guy.

"Let's, uh, get going," said Robin, and Helga nodded.

The two made their way down the end of the hall and peaked around the corner. There was only one guard posted there at the moment, and Tim was quite confident he could easily dispatch him. He whipped a batarang from his utility belt, took aim, and hurled it at the guard.

It bounced off the wall nearly three inches from its target.

"WHAT?" Robin mouthed in astonishment.

The guard looked over at the weapon in alarm. "The prisoners have escaped!" he cried and reached for his pistol.

"Nice going, Bird Boy," Helga quipped and pulled off one of her heels.

She took aim and let fly at the guard, pegging him square in the face and knocking him unconscious.

Robin's jaw dropped. He had spent years training with the devices in his utility belt, and not once in the past three years had he missed a target. The girl next to him had upstaged him with a shoe.

Six more guards emerged from the door behind the unconscious one and reached for their weapons.

"The Master does not want the girl harmed, so use the stun rods," said one guard who appeared to be the leader of the group.

"Stand back, I got this," warned Robin.

"You'll have to get in line, Pigeon," replied Helga as she crouched into an attack position next to the young crime fighter.

The group descended on the duo; one coming up to Helga and swatting at her with a stun baton. She deftly avoided the attack and delivered a front kick to her attacker's ribs. She heard a loud crack and her attacker hit the ground with a low moan. "Whoa," she said to herself. "Guess I don't know my own strength."

Two more guards approached her, stun rods in hand, swiping and jabbing at her. She back-flipped past the first attack, dodged low below the second, sweep-kicked both attackers sending them sprawling to the floor. "Okay, now I'm getting a little weirded out."

Helga had spent a great deal of her time studying martial arts and keeping in shape, but her reflexes and agility - even strength - had NEVER been this good.

"Maybe it has something to do with that serum Ivy injected me with…?" she thought to herself.

She shook the thoughts from her mind for a moment and checked on her partner. Robin had just gotten finished with his third attacker and had received a minor burn on his left shoulder during the battle.

"You okay?" Helga asked, motioning to the injury.

"I'll be fine." Robin assured her, eyeing the guards Helga had left unconscious. "Who are you?" he asked incredulously.

"Name's Helga." She looked around the room and examined her neutralized foes. "Hell yeah!' she shouted and did a little victory dance. "Guess that's what they get for messing with the mighty Helga Pataki."

Robin chuckled and shook his head. Who the hell WAS this girl? She was like a rougher version of Barbara Gordon. He had to find out more about her. Hopefully, he would get the opportunity later; for now, they needed to get out of here. "There's an exit not far from here," he told Helga. "We can use it to escape."

Helga shook her head. "I can't leave without my…," she hesitated, "friend."

Robin looked at her for a moment, then nodded. "Well, I didn't see anyone else here in the prison level…," he thought for a moment, "unless they took him to the interrogation room."

Helga shook her head again. "This 'Razz Al Gool' guy needs Arnold to be his illegitimate son. He wouldn't hurt him."

"Your friend must be pretty important," said Robin, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Yeah," Helga replied, a hint of sadness in her voice. Robin stared at her for a log moment, and Helga shifted nervously, then grinned. "There'd better not be any x-ray specs in that mask of yours," she remarked.

Robin's eyes widened, and he put his hands up defensively. "Oh, no," he stammered. "I…I mean, there IS...I mean…I..I would NEVER…" He rubbed the back of his neck nervously; his face bright red with embarrassment.

Helga giggled. "C'mon, Fumbles," she motioned towards the door with a jerk of her thumb, "let's get going."

"Yeah," Robin sighed.

Helga dashed towards the door with the befuddled young hero trailing after her.

* * *

Arnold sat in his private chambers, refusing to say a word to anyone. Ubu, the woman from before (her name, he found out, was Talia), and even Ghul himself had all tried to sway him towards his so-called "destiny" of standing by Ghul's side, but despite their best (and sometimes violent) efforts, Arnold had refused. Now he was sitting on the edge of his bed, worrying over the fate of his parents. Would he ever get to see them again? What was their real connection to this madman? Maybe he SHOULD take Ghul up on his offer. At least there was a chance he'd get to see his parents again…but what about Helga? Could he just turn his back on her in favor of his parents? The answer was obvious to him. Helga would move on; she'd find someone else to make her happy. Sure, he still cared about her; he always would, but right now, he had more to worry about.

There was a sound coming from a nearby air vent, and Arnold got up to investigate. He approached the vent on the other side of the room cautiously and peered down at it. There was something inside. He looked around to see if anyone was observing his actions, and upon asserting that no one was watching, he slowly pried the vent open and reached inside. It was an envelope. Arnold turned the strange object over, noticing a dark green question mark on the other side. He ripped open the envelope and pulled out a piece from inside. It was a letter:

"There is a secret hatch in a cleaning closet near the southeast staircase. Take it, and meet me outside. We have much to discuss."

Arnold looked up from the envelope, contemplating whether or not it could possibly be a trap. Deciding the letter was legit, Arnold placed it back into the envelope and tucked it into his tuxedo.

* * *

Helga and Robin rounded the corner after checking for any nearby sentries.

"So…how exactly did you get here?" Robin asked.

Helga took a long breath, not quite sure how to relay the whole crazy story. She wasn't exactly sure what was happening herself. Especially when it came to Arnold. "Well, I showed up here in San Lorenzo." She took a look around. "We're still in San Lorenzo, right?"

"It is," Robin nodded.

"Anyway, I came here with Edward Nigma to-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute," Robin interrupted. "You came here with the Riddler?"

"He's not a criminal anymore," Helga explained through clenched teeth.

"Yeah, I know. He's still kind of a jerk though."

"He is NOT a jerk," Helga replied angrily, jabbing the Boy Wonder in the chest with her index finger. "He's a really cool guy, and he taught me a lot about being a detective."

"I…I didn't mean t-to offend you," Robin stammered.

"It's fine. Anyway, we came here looking for a friend of mine who was living with his parents, but when we got here, we found out that they'd been missing for three months."

Robin stroked his chin. "You're not talking about the Shortmans, are you?"

Helga nodded. "You know 'em?"

"They're the reason I'm here. Well, partially. I was doing a little solo detective work on my own, investigating the arrival of an assassin known as David Cain in Gotham City. I was able to locate him and engage him in combat. After kicking his ass, I found out about the disappearance of the Shortmans and the possible involvement of Ra's Al Ghul. I considered relating the information to Batman, but I wanted this one for myself." His fists clenched tightly at his sides. "Ghul and I have…history. I needed to do this alone."

He took a deep breath and let it out. Helga hadn't said a word. Over the years, she had learned to become a good listener; you could tell a lot about a person if you just pay attention. "Go on," she urged.

"Turns out it was a trap," Robin continued. "Ghul's men held me at gunpoint the moment I arrived. I was able to take down a dozen of them before they over-powered me; took me down with a tranq." He tilted his head and pointed at a small, circular wound on his neck.

"Yeah, those things suck," Helga replied, pointing to a similar wound on the side of her neck.

Robin nodded. "They brought me to the interrogation room and kicked me around a little bit before Ghul arrived. He gave me one of those big villain monologues and mentioned something about an heir."

Helga raised a brow. "An 'heir'?" she echoed.

"Yeah. For the longest time, he kept trying to 'adopt' me, or whatever. Told me that Batman, or 'the Detective' as he likes to call him, wasn't 'using me to my full potential'." Robin put on his best Ra's Al Ghul impression, and Helga couldn't help but laugh at the accuracy of it. "He threw a few more big words at me, and I spit in his face. Boy, did that piss the big guy off. Ubu beat the hell out of me for about ten minutes until Ghul ordered him to stop."

Helga winced. "Are you okay?" she asked with genuine concern.

"Huh?" Robin blushed, and he twiddled his thumbs. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Y'know, it happens."

Was she actually worried about him? Did she care? Maybe Tim really did have a shot at her. This girl wasn't like any he'd ever met (and he had met quite a few). Beautiful, tough, maybe even deadly; Helga Pataki was everything he looked for in girl and then some.

"You really need to work on that," he heard Helga say.

Robin snapped out of his thoughts, shaking his head. "Huh"?

Helga grinned. "That was a good two minutes of awkward silence. I think you just broke your record."

"Oh, sorry," the Boy Wonder muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"What happened next?"

"Ah, well…he told me about someone else who might be 'more worthy,' and that the two of us would have to 'prove ourselves' in single combat…to the death."

Helga went pale. "Did he say who the guy was?"

Robin scratched his head, trying to recall the name he had heard. "Some guy named…Arnold, I think."

Helga's eyes widened in shock. "A-Arnold?" she stammered.

"Yeah," Robin raised an eyebrow. "You know him?"

"Yeah," Helga gave a hesitant answer.

"Your friend, I assume?" The two said nothing for a few moments. "Is he…y'know…?" Robin asked cautiously.

Helga shrugged. "I don't know, anymore."

Robin inched closer towards her. "Well, if you don't mind me saying, that guy doesn't seem to know how lucky he is."

Helga smiled, even blushed a little bit. "Thanks, Bird Boy," she punched his arm playfully.

'Maybe I've still got a shot with her, after all,' Tim thought to himself.

* * *

It wasn't easy, but Arnold had finally managed to convince the sentry guarding his room to allow him bathroom privileges without supervision. Now he was in a small janitor's closet, searching for some kind of secret exit. He was just about ready to give up for the moment and head back to his room, so as not to arouse suspicion, when he noticed a crudely drawn question mark scribbled on the side of a cleaning shelf. He pushed it aside, revealing an opening just large enough for him to crawl inside. He eyed the hole suspiciously for a moment then stepped in. It was fairly dark, but seemed to be pretty straight-forward. He turned around, pushed the shelf back in place behind the hole, and continued down the tunnel.

It seemed like hours until he noticed a light in the distance. He grinned excitedly and hurried his advance towards the source, finally emerging from the tunnel and into an expanse of hedges. He made his way through them and realized he was back in the jungles of San Lorenzo. "Lucky me," he said to himself.

"So, you must be Arnold."

Arnold spun around towards the voice behind him to see a tall man wearing purple sunglasses and wielding a question mark-shaped cane in his right hand. "And you must be the Riddler," he responded.

The man bowed politely and twirled his cane. "It's just Edward Nigma now. I haven't gone by 'the Riddler' in quite some time."

"So I've heard."

"Have you seen Helga?" Edward asked as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"They took her to a holding cell. I haven't seen her since."

Edward paused to think for a moment. "According to what I've heard by spying on some of the guards around here, she's escaped with Robin."

"'Robin'?"

Edward grinned. "You haven't heard of him? He sometimes serves as the Batman's sidekick, but lately he's been doing his own thing." Arnold shifted uncomfortably, and Edward's grin widened. "Jealous?"

"No!" Arnold shot back angrily.

"Good, you shouldn't be. That girl worships the ground you walk on, boy."

Arnold was quiet for a moment, then he looked up at Nigma. "Do you know anything about what happened to my parents?"

Edward took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Sit down, Arnold."

"What happened?" Arnold pleaded.

"SIT down." Arnold reluctantly did as he was told, and Edward took a seat next to him. "I spoke to your parents a couple hours ago."

"What did they say?" Arnold queried anxiously. "Are they alright? Where are they?"

"They're heading towards a plane that will be taking them to Ra's Al Ghul's fortress in Antarctica. They are perfectly safe, and they wanted me to tell you that they love you very much."

"And?"

Edward sighed. "They told me about your situation with Ghul. I'm not sure if you knew this, but if you were to take him up on his offer, you would have to renounce your parents and accept Ghul as your rightful father."

"Ghul isn't my father," Arnold growled, "and he never will be."

"That's good to hear," Edward replied, nodding, "but if you decline, there will be consequences."

"What consequences?"

Edward paused for a moment, not quite sure how put into words what he intended to tell the young man. "Arnold…," he began hesitantly, "if you decline Ghul's offer, you will never see your parents again."

There was a long silence.

"Then I'll kill him," Arnold finally spoke up. "I'll take him down, and my parents will be free."

Edward shook his head sadly. "Arnold, not even the Batman has been successful ridding the world of Ra's Al Ghul's influence. The man always finds a way to return. He is immortal."

"No one's immortal," Arnold replied, getting up from the floor. "I'll find a way to free my parents. Either that or I'll take them away from all of this. We can hide from him. Go someplace where he'll never find us. There's always a way out."

"What about Helga?"

Arnold gave an irritated sigh and rolled his eyes. "Why do I keep hearing that? 'What about Helga?' What about Helga? She needs to get on with her life! My world doesn't revolve around Helga Pataki!"

"You don't…," Edward tried to find the right words, "feel the same way about Helga as she does about you?"

Arnold was silent for a moment. "I'll always care about Helga…but my parents come first."

"Well, Arnold," Edward began, getting up from the ground, "your parents are grown adults and experienced adventurers. They can handle themselves."

"You don't know anything about what I went through trying to find my parents," Arnold replied bitterly. "So shut up."

Edward took a step forward. "Maybe not," he began, thrusting his cane in Arnold's direction, "but I do know one thing: that girl, Helga Pataki? You're very important to her. She came all this way just to see you, and if you do anything to hurt her...well…." He jabbed Arnold in the chest with his cane. "Just keep in mind that people disappear in the jungle every day."

"Why are you so protective of her?" Arnold asked suspiciously.

Edward Nigma was taken aback by that question. Why WAS he so protective of her? He had never really cared too much about his other clients, so why was the Pataki girl so special? Could it have something to do with the fact that she was just a child? Perhaps…but there was something more….

He shrugged it off. "She's a client, and I like to see my clients happy with the results of my work." It was a lie, of course, but until he could solve the riddle set before him of why he cared so much about the young woman in question, it would have to do.

Arnold shook his head, clearly not buying the excuse. The boy was more intuitive than Edward had originally believed. "Where's this plane?" he asked.

Edward sighed. The boy was hopeless. Why did Helga even bother with him? "It's at the airport by the Santiago Hotel. We've still got plenty of time before it leaves, but I warn you - involving yourself in Ra's Al Ghul's affairs is a sure-fire way to get yourself killed."

"Whatever," Arnold shrugged as he headed into the jungle.

"Hopeless," Edward said to himself after another sigh, and he followed the boy.


	4. Puzzles, Puzzles Everywhere

Helga stood in the bathroom stall, tapping her foot with growing impatience. Robin had led her in here, and upon finding a nearby vent large enough to squeeze through, decided to do a little snooping and asked Helga to wait there.

That was half an hour ago.

"Psst, Helga," she heard a voice whisper.

Helga peeked beneath the stall, and after not seeing anyone in the room, opened the door and headed towards the direction of the voice. She found Robin behind the grate of the air vent, anxiously beckoning to come closer. "What'd you find out?" she whispered.

"Well, apparently your pal Arnold has somehow managed to escape."

"YES!" Helga cheered with a pump of her arm. "Now all that's left to do is get the heck outta here."

"Right," Robin agreed as he started pushing open the vent cover. "Now get in-" He was interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching their location. "Quick, hide!" he urged as he moved back into the darkness of the ventilation shaft.

Helga dashed behind one of the stalls and pressed back against it. She lifted her legs and propped them against the wall, suspending her above the floor. The door to the bathroom opened, and the sound of light footsteps headed towards the stall.

"I'm well aware of young Shortman's escape father," said the voice attached to the footsteps.

Helga recognized it as belonging to the woman she had met when she first arrived. Talia, wasn't it?

"As far as I know, he is unaware of the plane his parents will be boarding, but I think it would be safe to add a little extra security to the area, just in case." There was a brief pause. "As far as I know, Mr. Nigma was captured and swiftly executed."

Helga gasped then slapped a hand over her mouth.

There was another brief pause. "Father, I will contact you later. Good-bye."

Helga heard footsteps heading towards her location.

"Well, well, well," said Talia upon discovering the young woman before her. "You are going back to your cell, Ms. Pataki," she hissed, reaching for her side pistol.

BAM!

The vent next to Talia flew open, and it, along with both of Robin's feet, connected with the woman, smashing her against the stall and into unconsciousness. "What he saw in her, I'll never know," he said under his breath.

"Thanks for the save there, Birdie," said Helga as she slid down to the floor and got back on her feet.

"Don't mention it. Now we've got to get out of here quickly. All that noise would've alerted some of the guards." Robin hopped inside the vent and crawled through the shaft with Helga close behind.

* * *

"Do you even know where you're going?" Edward Nigma asked Arnold for the second time during their trek through the jungle.

"I already told you, yes."

The two had been walking for nearly an hour now, and to Edward, it almost seemed like they were going around in circles. "I'm certain we've passed that same tree at least three times, already."

"They're trees," Arnold grumbled. "They all look the same."

"Ah, but only to the untrained eye." Nigma approached the tree in question and poked at an area of moss with his cane. "Notice the moss on the side,"

"I was a Campfire Lad. I know that moss grows on the north side of a tree," Arnold stated, rolling his eyes.

"Impressive, but not what I was getting at. Notice the spiraling pattern of the moss; how it curves down the tree like a furry, red serpent."

Arnold side and placed his hands on his hips. "What's the point, Ed?"

"My point," Edward began as he approached his young companion, "is that we've passed the same. Damn. TREE." He held up three fingers. "Thrice."

"Well then, why don't YOU lead the way?" Arnold remarked after a long sigh.

"As I mentioned earlier, I don't know how to get back to the hotel from here," Edward shrugged and glanced around. "I'm not even sure what part of the jungle we're in."

"Well, you're the one telling me I keep walking us around in circles."

Edward thought for a moment then shrugged his shoulders again. "I suppose I could give it a shot." He brushed past Arnold and made a left into the jungle. "So, tell, if you don't mind…," he replied as he cut through the overgrowth in his path, "how did you and Helga meet?"

"I'm surprised she didn't tell you herself. I met her on our first day of preschool. She was standing outside of the building, covered in mud and in the rain, and I let her underneath my umbrella."

"That was nice of you," Edward remarked.

"Yeah, I was always pretty helpful."

"What happened?" Edward asked dryly.

Boy, did that piss the young man off. "My parents were fucking kidnapped, that's what happened!" he shouted angrily.

Edward stopped and turned to look at Arnold. "What's the matter with you, kid? Why are you so angry at the world? From what Helga described, you'd think you were Christ, Himself."

"How many times do I have to explain it?" Arnold hissed. "My. Parents. Are. GONE!"

Edward rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Ohhh," he cooed mockingly, "does wittle Ahnold miss his mommy and daddy? Does him need a diaper change?" Arnold roared and swung a fist at the taunting man in front of him. Edward hopped back, hooked the end of his cane around Arnold's ankle, and yanked him off his feet. Before the enraged youth could get back up, Edward held him down with the other end of his cane. "All Helga wants to do is help you, you idiot."

"Helga didn't come here to help me. She came here because she can't move on with her life like a normal human being."

Edward brought his cane across Arnold's face and leaned down close. "If Helga Pataki could have given her life so you could be with your parents, she would have."

Arnold, not knowing what to say, just stared at him.

Edward got up and brushed himself off. "Now let's get going."

Arnold wiped a trail of blood from his lip and got up. He looked Edward Nigma dead in the eye and then nodded. Edward led the way.

* * *

Two of Ra's Al Ghul's elite guard entered the bathroom where Robin and Helga had made their escape. Talia had informed them of their attack on her and gave them strict orders to deal with the matter in whatever way they saw fit.

"There," said one of the guards, pointing to an open air vent at the far end of the room.

The other one nodded and they made their way to investigate. The first guard peered inside the vent. "They haven't been in there long. Hand me a grenade."

The other guard reached into a satchel hanging at his side and produced a small hand grenade. He tossed it his partner.

"You might want to cover your ears," the guard with the grenade said. "This will be loud."

"I know," said the other guard, pointing a gun at the other one's head. He pulled the trigger and his "friend's" brain matter splattered inside the vent. He then lifted the dead guard and hefted him into the shaft, pushing him deep inside for good measure. Then he holstered his pistol and headed for the exit. Another guard entered the room.

"What was that noise?" he asked curiously and was met with a knife plunged deep into his right lung. The guard tried to scream for help, but it only came out as a shrill gasp.

His assailant twisted the knife for good measure then pulled it out and tossed his victim into a bathroom stall. He wiped the blade of on a nearby roll of paper towels and then sheathed it. He walked out of the room, trying his best to act casual in front of the other guards. 'Thank goodness they all wear ski masks and goggles,' he thought to himself. He heard someone from around the corner mention something about the Shortmans and flattened against the wall to eavesdrop.

"They will be boarding the plane shortly," one said. "The Lady has requested extra security, so look for anyone willing to guard the Shortmans and escort them safely to their plane.

This was PERFECT!

He stepped out from behind the corner, whistling nonchalantly.

"You there," the guard he had eavesdropped on shouted and pointed at him. "What is your current assignment?"

The traitor shrugged.

"You have been assigned to safely escort Miles and Stella Shortman to their plane at the Santiago Hotel." He pointed to the guard at his right. "Hazier will accompany you to your mission objective. Do you understand?"

The traitor nodded.

"Dismissed then."

The other guard, Hazier, made his way towards the traitor and motioned for him to follow. The traitor just hoped he had packed enough explosives for what he had planned.

* * *

The grate on the side of the building flew from its vent and hit the ground. Robin hopped down from out of the shaft and looked around for nearby sentries. "Coast is clear," he told Helga.

The young woman emerged from the opening in the building and hopped out. She stretched and popped her back. "Criminey, I thought we were never getting outta there!" she remarked.

"We're almost there," Robin said as he pointed to a twenty foot tall wall surrounding the complex. "All that's left now is to-"

"The prisoners!" a voice from atop the wall interrupted.

"Damn," Robin hissed under his breath and slowly backed towards Helga. Two dozen or so guards came out from around the corners of the building, attempting to surround the duo. "Find a way over that wall while I hold them off!" he cried as he removed a metal rod from his utility belt. He swung it to his side, and the rod extended into a seven foot long pole.

Helga ran towards a ladder on the wall, front-flipping over the guards in her path, and then swept her leg out behind her in an arc that floored several of them. She climbed up the wall and turned towards the battle between Robin and the horde of Ra's Al Ghul's henchman. He was holding his own pretty damn well.

The first five guards who approached were met with a pole to the face as Robin kicked his weapon towards them. The pole bounced off of the foreheads of the five thugs, and he caught it and brought it around behind him to strike at another attacker. He whirled the pole in front of him with blinding speed, scattering Ghul's elite guard left and right. An enemy from behind managed to wrap his arms around the Boy Wonder in an attempt to crush him in a massive bear hug. Two other men approached the struggling boy, their intent to strike him while he was being held. He brought his feet up, kicking the assailants in the face, and then reached into his utility belt and pulled out his grappling gun. He fired it at the roof of the complex, and the grapple began reeling him in, tearing the young hero from the grasp of his attacker. Reaching the roof, he produced several smoke bombs from his belt and hurled them down into the crowd of armed men below. He leaped into the cloud of smoke, and Helga heard the sounds of several grown men hitting the floor. She even observed a few of them flying out of the smoke cloud and skidding along the ground.

She was too busy admiring the young man's handiwork and didn't notice the woman behind her until she felt the press of cold steel against the back of her head.

"Stand down, young detective," the woman shouted behind Helga, "or I kill the girl!"

Helga slowly put her hands in the air, then spun around and slapped the gun out Talia's hand, disarming the startled young woman. She leaped back.

"How are you so fast?" Talia asked in admiration.

Helga shrugged. "I drink plenty of juice and eat all my veggies."

"Cute," Talia grinned, "but you should have remained in your cell." She swung her right leg at Helga, connecting with the side of her face and almost knocking the young woman clear off the wall.

Helga managed to remain steady and rubbed her face. "Not bad," she replied, delivering a kick of her own that caught Talia square in the chest, "but you should've stayed with daddy."

Talia staggered back and glared angrily at her opponent. She attempted another kick which Helga caught, then Talia came back at her with her other leg which smashed into Helga's ribs. The younger fighter nearly toppled over the wall, but was able to brace herself on the railing. Talia leapt at her, hands tightening around her enemy's throat, and attempted to force her over the wall. "Did you honestly believe you could defeat me all by yourself, child?" she taunted.

"Welp…," Helga gasped, "…I've still got back-up."

Talia laughed. "The boy is too preoccupied by my soldiers to come to your rescue, little girl."

"Not him…"

Talia raised an eyebrow. "Who then?"

"Ol' Betsy." Helga lifted her fist and slammed it right into the older woman's jaw. Talia released her grip on Helga and staggered backwards in a daze. "And the Five Avengers!" Helga finished, launching her other fist into an uppercut that nearly lifted her opponent clear off the ground. Talia fell to her knees in a daze and looked up at Helga, who was towering over her with her fists clenched. "Want some more, bitch?" the young woman taunted.

Talia glared at her and spit blood onto Helga's dress.

"Good," Helga replied as she grabbed the older woman by the back of the head and brought it down, face-first, onto her knee. There was a loud crack, and Talia slumped to the floor, unconscious. Helga looked over to see Robin pole-vaulting up to the top of the wall behind her. She looked back at her unconscious opponent. "She ain't pretty no more."

Robin let out a whistle and stood next to Helga. "You sure did a number on her. Let's get out of here before she wakes up."

Helga scoffed. "After an ass-whooping of that caliber, she'll be out for a loooooong time."

Robin chuckled. "Well then, let's get out of her before more generic thugs show up."

Helga turned to look at him and smiled.

Damn, that smile! It melted Tim's heart and caused his senses to go wild. She was incredible. She had defeated Talia Al Ghul in single, hand-to-hand combat. That was no easy feat; Talia was renowned as one of the best martial artists in the world, having even gone toe-to-toe with Batman on more than one occasion. Helga had the potential to be the next Batgirl - hell, the next WONDER WOMAN!

Robin was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Helga's foot tapping impatiently against the floor. "Oh! Damn…did I go all zombie on you again?" Helga nodded. "S-sorry…."

"C'mon, Boy Blunder," Helga giggled and took Robin by the hand, leading him towards a ladder on the opposite side of the wall. "Let's get going."

"S-S-Sure," the teen crime-fighter stammered. "I'm not always like this, y'know."

"Suuuurrre you're not," his female companion teased.

"Really, I'm not."

Helga couldn't hold back her laughter.

* * *

Edward Nigma had been leading their journey for over half an hour now, and Arnold had to admit that the scenery was beginning to look different. Every once in a while, Edward would halt their progress and stoop down to investigate the area. Along the way, he would preach to Arnold about how "a mystery is just like a puzzle: you have to look at it from every conceivable angle," and Arnold would just roll his eyes. He didn't care about Edward Nigma's line of work. He was no detective, so what did it matter? All he cared about at the moment was finding his parents. To hell with Edward Nigma's lectures.

"We're getting closer," Edward told his companion.

"It's about damn time," Arnold grumbled.

Edward sneered and rolled his eyes. He just couldn't get through to young man because he was so full of bitterness. Of hate. It strangely reminded Edward of himself at Arnold's age. Young Edward Nigma was a boy driven by hate and by rage, fueled by a burning desire to prove himself to those around him. To his friends…his father…even himself. All his life, he had been told he was nothing by the man who should have loved him. At least most parents had the drink as an excuse. His father would beat him ragged even when stone-cold sober. His only escape had always been in the farthest reaches of his mind. In his puzzles. How he loved his puzzles! He would spend days, sometimes weeks, working on a new puzzle in order to test the wits of his fellow classmates and even his teachers. Only on rare occasions had his puzzles been solved by someone other than himself.

Then one day, his father had found them.

"What the fuck is this shit?" he had screamed. "You think you're fucking smarter than me?"

"Dad, please," Edward had pleaded.

"This is for the woman you killed, you little shit!"

"N-No, dad I-"

Then the iron came. He would scream and scream as his father burned him and beat him with that red-hot iron. The woman in question, the one whose death Edward's father blamed him for, was his mother. His mother had died during childbirth, and ever since then, his father had had it out for him. Edward still had scars on his body from the abuse he had suffered at the hands of his sadistic parent. The kids at school were no better. He used to be a kind, gentle child. The puzzles and tests he gave the other children were just his way of finding a kindred spirit. Someone like him. Someone he could share an intelligent conversation with. More often than not, they would end with his beating at the hands of a bully.

When his father wasn't home (which was rare), Edward would lie in his bed, crying. His father's abuse would have a dramatic impact on his adult life. His mind had driven the memories of his childhood far away from his recollection. They would still emerge, however, in the form of his obsession with leaving behind the riddles he was so famous for at the scenes of his crimes. At first, he had shrugged it off as his way of testing the local police department as well as the Batman, but once, when Edward attempted to commit a crime without leaving a clue in the form of a riddle in his wake, he had realized just how wrong he was.

It took many years, but Edward had finally been able to conquer his madness. He turned over a new leaf, so to speak, and hired himself off as a private investigator. Yes, things were going well for the reformed supervillain…but unfortunately, his past had damaged him more than he had originally believed. Due to the violent and hateful nature of his father, as well as his fellow students, he had slowly grown to believe that maybe, just maybe, no one would ever really love him. He still had those fears today. Oh sure, there were women he had slept around with - Query and Echo (his former assistants) - but he never truly loved them, as they never truly loved him. It was the lifestyle that they were in love with. They were addicted to it, but they never actually loved him.

This provided a good explanation for Edward's inflated ego. If nobody else loved, why not love himself? And he did love himself, to be sure (at least most of the time). He was always one of those people who would have a drink with themselves. Sadly, he had never made any kind of connection with other women. Not that he was gay, by any means. During his life of crime he often enjoyed the more…physically aspects of what his fortune could offer him, but he wasn't happy. Not really.

"Are we gonna keep moving or are you just going to stand there all day?" Arnold asked, clearly annoyed.

Edward scowled and turned his back on him. He lifted his blade and continued cutting into the jungle.

* * *

Stella Shortman's hand was sweating profusely as it gripped her husband's palm. The two of them were on their way to a plane which would take them to the fortress of Ra's Al Ghul. The Shortmans weren't stupid. They were well aware of Ghul's negative operations he had running besides the positive ones he assigned to her and her husband. Still, there was no way out of their agreement. Years ago, the two had pledged their allegiance to the Demon's Head and were given the opportunity to help those in need. Sadly, they were forced to leave their only son with his grandparents, Miles' parents. It broke her heart to do it, and she could always tell that Miles felt the same way, but if they hadn't, Ra's Al Ghul would have surely enacted a swift and deadly punishment. She leaned against her husband's arm, feeling the warmth of his body against her cheek. "I'm scared, Miles."

Her husband gripped her hand tighter. "Me, too, baby, me too, but we have to do this…for Arnold."

Years ago, they had finally been reunited with their beloved son in the jungles of San Lorenzo. Their pride-and-joy had later decided to come live with them, a mistake his parents now deeply regretted. They should have warned him, told him to stay away. However, now it was too late. A tear slid down Stella's face as she and her husband marched alongside over a dozen armed guards.

"We have arrived," one of them stated.

The couple was lead towards an airplane resting on a landing strip near the Santiago Hotel. The two shared a kiss before heading up the stairway into the plane.

Nobody noticed when one of the guards broke formation for a split-second and slapped an explosive beneath the wing of the plane.

* * *

Helga and Robin sat in a clearing in the middle of the jungle, contemplating their next move. Robin had originally suggested that the two of them hop in his jet and take the young woman home. She completely dismissed the idea though. She absolutely refused to leave Arnold behind and insisted that they look for him first. She told him of the plane Arnold's parents were boarding, and Robin immediately concluded that that would be the first place Arnold would go. "That is," he had added, "assuming he knows about it."

Helga pondered for a moment. "Well, if he's with Eddie, then I'm sure he knows by now."

"How do you know Eddie even knows about it?"

"I just do," Helga shrugged.

Robin stood up and stretched. "Well, I guess we could try meeting him at the hotel. If he shows up, we can grab him, save his parents, and take off."

Helga flashed him a thumbs up. "Sounds like a plan, but," she turned around, examining the area, "I'm not even sure where the hell we are."

"I've got a satellite GPS navigation system built into my costume," Robin plainly informed. "I can get us there in a flash."

Helga rolled her eyes. "How many toys do you have, anyway?"

"Lots."

"Well then," Helga began, getting up, "let's get going. If I know Arnold," and she wasn't really sure if she did anymore these days, "then he's probably halfway there by now."

Robin opened the GPS unit in his glove and pushed a few buttons. "That way," he pointed east.

The two hurried into the jungle, Robin leading the way with his GPS and a blade from his utility belt used to cut down foliage.

"Uh, hey," Helga tapped Robin on the shoulder. "You wouldn't happen to have a pack of smokes in that belt of yours, would ya?"

* * *

"We're being followed."

Arnold stopped and looked around. "By who?" he asked.

Edward Nigma's eyes darted around the jungle, searching for some sign of their pursuer. "Not sure. Just keep acting casual; we don't want to alert him."

"Why not?"

Edward gave a little sigh. "Because if he suspects that we know he's following us, he might try to attack."

"Better to fight him here than around my parents where their lives would be endangered," Arnold reasoned.

Edward shook his head. "We can fight him once we catch up to Robin and Helga. Four against one are better odds"

"Yeah, but what are the chances of that happening?"

"I've been taking my time a little and drifting slightly towards where they might have escaped. If I'm as good of a detective as I think I am, and I am, then hopefully we'll be running into them soon."

Arnold stopped. "You've been slowing us down this whole time, and you didn't tell me?" he growled.

"I thought if I told you what I was doing, you'd over-react."

Arnold turned around, looking up into the trees for their pursuer. "WE KNOW YOU'RE THERE!" he shouted. "COME ON OUT AND FACE ME!"

"Damn it, Arnold," Edward mumbled under his breath.

The duo heard a rustling in the trees behind them, and a black, muscular, blonde-haired figure leaped down from the trees. "The two of you are coming with me," he stated plainly. "Now."

Edward hustled towards Arnold, extending his arm defensively in front of the boy. "David Cain." He sneered and looked at Arnold. "Get out of here. I'll hold him off for as long as I can."

Arnold was nearly refused, but upon closer examination of the assassin before him, he decided to heed Edward's warning and nodded, darting into the jungle.

"The Riddler," Cain noted, unimpressed. "Killing someone as unworthy as you will give me no pleasure whatsoever."

Edward snarled and unsheathed the blade hidden in his cane. "You clearly have never faced an opponent of my intellect."

Cain chuckled and drew a combat knife from the bandolier strapped to his chest. "Let's put that intellect to the test."

* * *

So far everything had gone better than originally planned. It was a little project of his that he had been working on for around five years now, and things were running smoother than he believed possible. He slapped another explosive beneath the cock-pit and headed back for the passenger section. He brushed past another guard and considered killing him before leaving.

"Too sloppy," he thought to himself as he exited the plane. Beside, no one would be left alive after the C4 he had planted everywhere had gone off. He stealthily broke free from the watchful eyes of the other sentries and headed into the jungle.

He stumbled over a stray log and saw his partner, another disguised Ghul guard, waiting for him by a tree. "Did you plant the explosives?"

The traitor nodded.

"Good. Now let us pay a little visit to the Demon's Head himself."

The traitor nodded excitedly and trailed after his partner. It was time to pay a little visit to Ra's Al Ghul.


	5. A Little AssKicking Is About To Go Down

"Damn," Robin cursed as he thumped the GPS unit in his glove.

"What?" Helga asked, walking towards the young hero with curiosity painted on her face.

"Something's jammed the GPS," Robin grumbled.

"So what now?" Helga asked as she crossed her arms. Robin started to shrug, but suddenly, an alarmed look washed over his face and he turned his head to the left. "What is it?"

Robin's eyes narrowed. "Sounds like a fight's going down not too far from here."

Helga turned her head from left to right. "Where?"

"That way," Robin pointed east. "Let's check it out."

* * *

David Cain lifted a broken, bleeding Edward Nigma off the ground by his throat and chuckled mercilessly. "Where's the boy going?"

Edward peered at his assailant through a swollen eye. "Not…sure…."

Cain tightened his grip around Edward's throat, causing a sharp wheeze from his defeated foe. "I'm not in the mood for games, Nigma," he growled threateningly. "Tell me what I want to know." He plunged the blade of his combat knife into Edward's side, causing him to gasp in pain. "I might just allow you to die with some amount of dignity."

Edward chuckled painfully, blood escaping from behind his teeth. "Riddle me this."

Cain twisted the knife stuck in his victim's side, and the former super villain let out a bloody wheeze. "I've no time for your pitiful riddles, Nigma," he warned ominously. "Tell me where the boy is headed or you will die like a shameless dog."

"He's headed towards the plane," Edward wheezed. "The one with his parents on it. By now, he's probably made it too far into the jungle for you to find him. He should arrive anytime…I did my job in stalling you…long enough for him to get away."

Cain laughed in Edward's face. "The boy is a fool," he stated plainly. "There are guards all over that plane lead by Ubu, and they ALL have shoot-to-kill orders." Edward said nothing, and Cain shook his head in disappointment. "No clever riddles or witty comments, Mr. Nigma? Pity." He pulled his combat knife from Edward's side and brought it down on his victim's throat.

* * *

Arnold peered through the leaves of a bush he had hidden in and examined the scene in front of him. There had to have been at least over a hundred armed men guarding his parents' plane, and from the looks of it, they were packing serious heat. Rocket launchers, M16s, grenades, side-pistols…even swords and stun batons. "Damn," he muttered under his breath.

Hearing a slight commotion to his right, he hid deeper inside the bush and observed two guards conversing privately.

"Did you plant the explosives?

The other guard nodded.

'EXPLOSIVES?' Arnold thought to himself alarmingly. He looked over to the plane, and then back to the conversing guards.

"Good. Now let us pay a little visit to the Demon's Head himself," the first one said.

The other guard nodded excitedly and followed his companion. Arnold looked back to the heavily-guarded plane. How could he possibly hope to save his parents with so many people around, waiting to capture him on sight if he were to be discovered? Should he try warning them? Would they even believe him? One thing was certain: he couldn't do this alone. He remembered Nigma telling him about how he had slowed their progress in order to meet up with Helga and Robin…Robin! He was an experienced super-hero, right? Maybe he could help! Arnold wasn't entirely certain, but it was his only option at the moment. He turned, darted out of the bush, and headed back into the jungle.

* * *

The combat knife flew from David Cain's hand, and the assassin let out a startled cry.

"I'd heard you were dead, Cain," Robin began as he leaped from the branch of a nearby tree. "Don't tell me Ghul's been letting other people use the Pits these days."

"I don't go down that easily, young one," Cain sneered as he hurled Edward Nigma to the ground.

"Eddie!" Helga cried as she dashed towards the beaten detective. She had heard about the shoot-to-kill orders Cain had mentioned, and desperately wanted to warn Arnold before her love went and got himself killed, but she wasn't about to leave a friend to die. She leaped out of the foliage and dashed towards her fallen companion.

"Edward," she whispered, gently resting his head in her lap. "Are you okay?"

Edward looked up at her and smiled. "I've been through MUCH worse, trust me. The wound isn't even fatal; although, I will require something to stop the bleeding."

Helga ripped a piece of cloth from the bottom of her dress and wrapped it around Edward's torso. "I…don't want you to die, Eddie," she whispered sadly.

Edward chuckled lightly, an act that caused him to wince in pain. "Don't worry, I'll be just fine. You're too kind to me, Helga…no one's ever been so kind to me before."

"Yeah well, don't get used to it, Riddle-Boy. You've still got a job to do remember? Can't have you keeling over on me yet."

Helga did her best to remain sassy and sarcastic in the face of her beaten friend, but couldn't prevent a tear from escaping down her face. Edward reached up and gently wiped it away. "I'm not going anywhere, young lady." She smiled. "You still owe me five grand," he said with a wink.

Helga couldn't suppress her laughter.

"The boy then," Cain said with a snarl. He looked over at his knife, the blade sliced clean off by a well-placed batarang. "You owe me a new knife, kid." He whipped out his side-arm .44 and aimed it at the young man before him.

It, too, was disabled by a whirling batarang.

Robin chuckled as he cautiously approached his opponent. "Y'know, Cain, if you wouldn't play so rough, I wouldn't have to keep breaking all your toys."

"To the death then?" Cain asked, going into a defensible position.

"You don't want to die today, Cain," Robin said with a sly grin. The raging assassin launched himself at the Boy Wonder, unleashing a devastating barrage of attacks. Robin was able to deflect most of them, but a few well-placed blows caught him in the jaw, ribs, and shoulder. He hopped back a few steps, rubbing his jaw. "You've been practicing."

"Or perhaps I am simply the better fighter?" Cain asked with a dangerously smug grin.

Robin spit out a tooth and looked over at Helga. "Get Nigma out of here." He turned back towards his attacker, and his eyes narrowed ominously. "This one's mine."

Helga nodded and helped Edward to his feet, slinging his right arm over her shoulder. "Good luck," she called as she headed into the jungle with the battered former-villain.

Robin launched into a series of furious kicks and punches, many of which landed staggering hits on his opponent, but Cain refused to go down. "Cassandra speaks highly of your skills, Boy Wonder," he stated plainly. "I, however, remain unimpressed."

Robin lifted an eyebrow and grinned cockily. "Guess I'll have to kick it up a notch." He launched into a backflip, catching Cain right in the chin.

* * *

BAM!

Helga listened intently to the sounds of battle behind her as she and Edward fled the scene. Looking at the damage that assassin had done to poor Edward, she couldn't help but worry about the young hero she had left behind, but Robin was no Edward Nigma; he was a fighter. She had seen him take down over a dozen armed men by himself. Surely one man could be of no great challenge to the Boy Wonder…could he? She shook the thoughts from her mind. There were plenty of other things to worry about at the moment. Once they were well away from the field of battle, Helga lay Edward gently near a tree and examined his wounds. He was right; they weren't as bad as they looked. "Well," she began, "you didn't get your ass beaten too badly."

Edward chuckled, clutching his wounded side. "Well, that's good to hear, I suppose." He started to get up.

"You need to lie back down," Helga pleaded.

Edward shook his head. "Arnold is on his way to his parents' plane. There are too many guards, all with shoot-to-kill- orders. If he approaches, he will be killed instantly."

Helga nodded, still trying to ease her friend back down. "I know. I'll go find him myself."

Edward gently pushed the young woman away, shaking his head. "You'll be killed. I'll go."

Helga shook her head vigorously and laid her hands upon Edward once more. "You're in no condition to fight."

"I don't need to fight. Just not get caught."

"No," Helga urged.

"I'm a grown man, Helga. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, you sure took care of Cain pretty well," the young woman noted angrily.

"I wasn't trying to beat him; I was distracting him while Arnold got away."

Helga's face twisted in confusion, and there was a brief silence. "Why?" she asked.

Edward was quiet for a moment. "Because I didn't want him to get hurt."

Helga shook her head, not believing any of it. She crossed her arms in front of her. "You didn't do it for Arnold. You did it for me. Why?"

Edward struggled with his words, not quite knowing what to say. He sighed dejectedly and turned his back towards the young woman. "That's a riddle I have yet to solve."

Helga's shoulders slumped, and she tilted her head. "Well, when you find the answer, let me know." Edward merely nodded. "I'm going to find Arnold," she replied. "Wait here, I'll be back in a sec." He sighed and waved her off. She nodded, turned around slowly, and headed into the jungle.

* * *

The two "guards" had no difficulty re-entering Ra's Al Ghul's fortress. With their disguises, not a single person questioned them as they made their way towards the Demon's Head's private quarters. It was an equally simple task eliminating the two sentries guarding the entrance.

"When we get in, Ghul takes his last breath," the first imposter said to the traitor. The traitor nodded, and his partner slapped a brick of C4 on the door. "Stand back," he said. "This will be very loud."

"Funny," the traitor replied, "that's what the first guy said."

Before he could turn around, the front of the imposter's head exploded, splattering blood and brain matter all over the front of the door. Luckily, the traitor had placed a silencer on his pistol, so hopefully he had not alerted anyone nearby. Or Ghul. The traitor then stripped his partner's corpse of the detonator and pressed the button to blow open the door in front of him. The entrance splintered into pieces with a loud explosion as dust and smoke spewed into the room.

"What is the meaning of this?" Ra's Al Ghul demanded, standing up from behind his desk.

The traitor sauntered into the room and cracked his knuckles dramatically.

"Who dares…?" hissed the Demon's Head.

The traitor reached behind his head, grasping the back of his mask firmly, and slowly peeled it off. He then tossed the object casually to the ground. Ra's Al Ghul's eyes narrowed as he gazed upon the face of the intruder.

"You…."

* * *

Helga dashed through the jungles of San Lorenzo, desperately trying to get the Arnold before he ran out and got himself killed. What if she was too late? What if Arnold, in his newly-acquired stubbornness, had already foolishly gotten himself gunned down by Ra's Al Ghul's men? Helga wouldn't know what to do if she came upon the bullet-ridden corpse of her beloved Football Head. She would probably just end her life then and there.

Suddenly, she heard something above her, and a figure leaped down from the trees at her. She moved out of the way, grabbed her assailant, and flipped him over on his back in front of her. "Arnold?" she cried, taking a step back from the dazed young man. Arnold stood up and rubbed his head. "You shouldn't sneak up on a lady like that, Arnoldo."

"Where's Robin?" he asked.

"He's fighting an assassin named Cain. We've got to get out of here before more of Ghul's men show up."

Arnold shook his head. "I've told you before - I'm not leaving here without my parents. We need to get Robin; together, we can infiltrate that plane and rescue my parents."

Helga turned back towards the jungle. "We can team-up on Cain and bring Robin here…but what if we're too late...?"

"We won't be," Arnold replied defiantly. "Not if we hurry."

There was a loud rumbling in the distance, and the two looked at each with worried expressions. Arnold turned and darted back for the airplane.

"Wait!" Helga called as she ran after him. She was able to reach him and grab the sleeve of his coat.

"Let me GO, Helga!" he cried desperately, slapping her hand away from him.

"Arnold, please, you'll be KILLED if you go out there!"

Arnold shook his head angrily. "I don't CARE!"

Helga grabbed him by the arm and gently pulled him back. "I'm not going to let yourself get killed, Arnold." The infuriated young man roughly yanked his arm away from the frightened girl and ran into the jungle as fast as his legs could carry him. "ARNOLD, WAIT!" Helga shouted.

Arnold could see the landing strip in the distance and hurried his advance. He was barely able to come to a stop when a hail of gunfire rained down on the earth in front of him. He turned and leaped behind a nearby tree. He heard several men shouting to each other in Arabic as he sat down, and then there was more gunfire to his immediate left. He had to find a way to get to that plane before it took off.

He felt someone grab his shoulder and turned to see Helga standing over him. She held out her hand and helped Arnold back up. "We need to get out of here," she told him.

"Not without my parents."

Helga shook her head helplessly and dragged the young man away from the gunfire. Arnold pushed her away and prepared to re-enter the fray. There was another loud rumbling, and the two directed their gaze skyward to see the plane carrying Arnold's parents soaring into the air. He started to get up and run after the plane, but Helga had him by the arm again. "Arnold, we're too late," she sadly replied.

Arnold stood there with his fists clenched. He spun around and glared angrily at Helga. "This is all YOUR fault!" he shouted.

Helga stood there, eyes watering, and stared at the angry young man in front of her. "Arnold… I never meant to hurt you. I love y-"

"I HATE YOU! Get out of my life!"

Helga just stood there, shocked and not knowing what to say. "Arnold…," she began hesitantly, "you don't mean that."

Arnold opened his mouth to say something when an ear-shattering explosion lifted the two off the ground and hurled them into the jungle. Helga slowly got back to her feet and looked around for Arnold. He was standing in the center of the clearing, gazing up at the sky. She directed her gaze to the sky and her eyes widened in horror. The plane Arnold's parents were on had lost its left wing, and the cock-pit was on fire. The craft burned slowly and descended towards the jungle floor. She hustled over to Arnold. "I…I can still save them," she heard him say.

"That's suicide, Arnold…."

"Well, what other choice do I have?" he shouted.

Helga stood there not knowing what to say. Arnold sighed and dashed towards the woods, towards his eminent doom. She grabbed him by the arm again, without even hesitating. Despite what he may have said to her, she wasn't about to let Arnold get himself killed.

"Let go of me, Helga," he said, a slight edge to his voice.

"I'm not going to let you kill yourself!"

"Let go of me, Helga!" he repeated, a bit more forcefully.

"We can sit down and think about this!"

"Let GO of me, Helga!" he said again, much more forcefully. He clenched his fists.

"Arnold, please…."

"I said LEAVE ME ALONE!" He spun around, backhanding the young woman as hard as he could, sending her tumbling to the ground.

There was a long silence. Arnold's breath grew heavy as he stared in utter horror at what he had done. She looked at him; her brilliant, beautiful eyes now cold with anger…with sorrow. "Helga…," he began, completely at a loss for words.

The young woman got up, wiping a trickle of blood from her lip. She took one last look at Arnold and then walked away.

"Helga, wait," he reached out and grabbed her shoulder.

Helga spun around and slapped him in the face. "You don't EVER get to fucking touch me again! EVER!" she screamed and slapped him again, turning away in disgust. She walked away from him, possibly for the last time.

Arnold just stood there, staring at the hand that had struck the woman he loved (and, yes, he DID love her). "What have I done?" he whispered to himself as he hung his head in shame.

* * *

Edward Nigma slowly rose to his feet. With the use of a few devices from his trick cane, he was able to numb the pain he had received at the hands of the assassin, David Cain.

"_You didn't do it for Arnold. You did it for me. Why?" _

That question still haunted his thoughts. Why HAD he risked his life to ensure Arnold's safety? He knew it wasn't because of feelings for the boy, no. It was his feelings for Helga that made him do what he did. His feelings for Helga…he scoffed in confusion, as if the very phrase was entirely unbelievable. Feelings? For a client? Preposterous! And yet, there they were, laid bare for all to see. It was a riddle he had yet to solve, and it was slowly driving him mad.

"Calm yourself, Eddie," he said aloud to himself. "You've been sane for a year now. Just try to keep it together."

He took a quick look around, surveying his surroundings. Helga had gone west towards the airplane that Arnold's parents had boarded. He suddenly became deeply concerned for the young woman's safety. "UGH! What's wrong with me?" he spoke aloud in frustration. "Since when does Edward Nigma give a damn about anyone but himself?"

He sighed and his shoulders slumped.

* * *

Helga stumbled into the jungles of San Lorenzo and fell to her knees, sobbing heavily. She wrapped her arms around herself for some semblance of emotional support. Her shoulders heaved as tears poured from her eyes. It was pain the likes of which she had never felt before. She trembled violently and held herself tighter in a vain attempt to keep her body under control. "Wh-wh-why d-does i-it h-h-have to h-h-h-hurt so g-g-g-g-god…d-damn bad?" she whispered to herself as she sobbed.

"Huh?" she looked over, hearing the sound of someone approaching her location.

She sniffed once and wiped away her tears, not wanting anyone to know she had been crying. Seeing Robin emerge from the darkness of the jungle, she got up and approached him. His costume was torn in multiple places, and he had a deep gash on his cheek. Part of his mask had been damaged, as well.

"Are you okay?" she asked, failing to stifle a sniffle.

Robin shrugged. "I've been through a whole lot worse."

She looked down, noticing a throwing knife lodged in the Boy Wonder's thigh. "Umm…," she mumbled, pointing.

"Hm?" Robin looked down at the wound. "Oh. Well, that explains the soreness in my leg." He didn't even cringe as he removed the blade and tossed it casually into the jungle.

"What happened to Cain?"

"He got away, but I managed to slap a tracer on him in case he comes back." Robin turned and looked at the jungle behind, just to make sure he hadn't been followed.

Helga noticed a small, bat-shaped device dangling from the tattered remains of the young hero's cape. "Uh," she pointed, "ya got a little hang-off there, Boy Blunder."

Robin looked back at her, a confused expression on his face. Then he turned his head and noticed the tracer stuck to his cape and yanked it off. "Aw, damn it," he groaned.

Helga giggled, still wiping tears from her eyes.

Robin looked back at her and grinned helplessly. Then his detective skills kicked in, and he wore a worried expression. "What's wrong, Helga?" he asked gently as he approached the young woman.

"Nothing," Helga's voice cracked, and she turned away, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Robin grabbed her gently by the shoulder, turning her around to face him. "Doesn't look like nothing," he whispered, wiping a tear from the girl's face. She lowered her head, but Robin touched her chin, gently lifting her face to meet his eyes. "Tell me what happened, Helga," he pleaded softly.

"Arnold…," Helga began, "he…he said things…terrible things…I cost him his parents…they died…because of me…." She brought her hands over her face, sobbing violently. "And now he HATES me!"

Robin wrapped his arms around the anguished young woman and held her. "It's okay, Helga. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I should have done SOMETHING!" she cried, hot tears streaming down her face. "He had every right to hit me."

Robin's eyes widened, and he held the girl at arm's length. "He HIT you?"

Helga looked away and then nodded slowly.

Robin turned away from her, clenching his fists furiously. "I'll kill him," he whispered angrily.

Helga put a firm hand on the furious young hero's shoulder. "No Robin, don't. This is my problem, and I'll handle it on my own. Promise me you'll let me handle it."

Robin sighed and nodded, lowering his fist. He turned towards the young woman behind him, and upon seeing her trembling, he wrapped Helga Pataki in a loving embrace. "It'll be okay, Helga. I promise," he whispered into her ear.

"It just…." Helga fought to hold back the rushing tears. "It just hurts so BAD…."

Robin shushed her and ran his fingers through the trembling girl's beautiful blonde hair.

"He was…," she continued between sobs, "he was the only one who had ever shown me kindness…my fucking parents never cared. They only cared about my sister's accomplishments…they never even notice me…." Robin held the young woman tighter, and she looked away. "God, I feel so stupid crying like this. I'm supposed to be tough. Strong. Now look at me."

Robin touched her face and gently turned her head so that he could look her in the eyes. "That's not true, Helga," he replied softly. "It takes a lot of strength to admit you're in pain." She blushed slightly at the gentle teenager's kind words. "And you're one of the strongest people I know," he concluded.

Helga laughed a bit at that, still fighting to hold back her tears. "Yeah," she began sarcastically, "I'm sure YOU cry all the time."

Robin cringed a bit as he remembered the last time he had cried. Truly cried. "I did when my dad died," he whispered.

Helga stared at him for a moment. She brought a hand to the young hero's bruised face. "I'm sorry," she whispered sadly.

Robin smiled and placed his hand over hers. "Don't worry about it."

Helga smiled dreamily at the amazing young man in front of her. In many ways, he was the perfect man. Strong, funny, intelligent, and handsome. Undoubtedly, he would be the object of every girl's affection back in Hillwood. Did she really deserve to be with someone like that? After all, look what she had done to Arnold. Surely the odds were against her golden-haired angel, but she had no real way of knowing that he would have failed in saving his parents if she had just let him go, right? Perhaps by some miracle, he would have managed to pull it off and rescue his mother and father before their plane went down…but she didn't want him to leave her. Not again. So for her own selfish reasons, she had held him back, and it had cost her beloved so much.

"I just…." Helga shut her eyes. "I just want someone to love me again. Like he used to…."

Tim Drake held her back and gazed into her glistening blue eyes. "I could love you, Helga," he whispered softly. "If you'd let me."

Helga just stared up at the strong, brave young man who was trying his best to comfort her. She blushed slightly and closed her eyes, offering herself to him. She wanted to feel the kiss of another; she NEEDED to feel it again. It had been so long, and she was SO lonely. On Valentine's Day, she would lay in her room, clutching her pillow, and weep for her loneliness. She was terrified that she would never again feel the warm, tender touch of another.

Robin leaned down and pressed his lips against Helga's. Their tongues met, and Tim's ever-present detective training kicked in. Judging by the slight roughness of her tongue, he could tell Helga was a smoker. This came as no surprise, of course, as the girl had made a quip about whether or not he carried cigarettes in his utility belt. He put an arm around Helga's waist and pulled her closer. He could feel her warm, slender body against his.

Helga embraced the passion whole-heartedly. It had been too long since she had felt the warmth of another, and she wanted it. No, she CRAVED it.

Robin held her closer, and his hand slowly drifted down below Helga's waist. He kissed her neck tenderly.

"Oh, Arnold!" she cried passionately. Robin stopped. Helga's face was beet-red. "I…I," she stammered. "I'm sorry."

"No," Robin lifted his hand and waved her apology away. "Don't apologize."

"Robin, I…." She lowered her head.

"Hey." Robin lifted her chin to look her in the eyes. "It's okay."

"I just…I can't…."

Robin shushed her, placing a finger over the young woman's quivering lips. "I understand."

He and Helga stared at each other for what seemed like hours. Finally, the heartbroken girl kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Robin."

"It's Tim."

"What?" Helga tilted her head.

"Tim. My name's Tim."

Helga smiled. "Thank you, Tim."

The Boy Wonder blushed and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "So… what now?" he asked.

Helga sighed and looked away sadly. "I…I'm not really sure."

"Need a ride back to Hillwood?" he offered.

Helga shook her head. "There's something I need to take care of, first."

There was long silence.

"Will I ever see you again?" Robin finally asked.

Helga shrugged and smiled. "Oh, I dunno. Maybe."

Robin smiled back and took Helga by the hand. "Well, we'll always have San Lorenzo." He kissed her hand, and she blushed. "Good-bye, Helga. If you ever need ANYTHING, just let me know." He tossed her a small gold-and-black, T-shaped transmitter. "As far as I'm concerned, you're an honorary Titan."

Helga staggered back, deeply touched. "I don't know what to say."

Robin just shrugged and winked. "It was an honor meeting you, Helga."

"Ditto," she nodded.

Robin gave her another wink, and Helga blew him a friendly kiss which Tim playfully "caught" and placed in a pouch on his utility belt. "Right next to the explosive gel," he informed, and she laughed. "'Bye, Helga."

"Good-bye, Tim. I'll never forget you."

Robin nodded then leaped from a tree branch and into the jungles of San Lorenzo.

A single tear slid down the Boy Wonder's mask, and he shook it away. He had urgent business back in Gotham that needed his attention, but first things first: he had to pay a little visit to Arnold Shortman.


	6. How To Knock Some Sense Into One's Head

Proofreader's Note: This is the end of part one of the whole story. Two more parts to come!

* * *

Helga, now alone, reached into her shirt and pulled out her beloved gold pendant. She gazed lovingly at the picture of Arnold and sighed, tears running down her cheeks. She kissed the glass covering the precious picture.

"Good-bye, my beloved," she whispered sadly. "I hope you can find someone to make you as happy as you made me."

She walked over to a nearby branch and draped the chain of her pendant over it. She took a step back, still staring at her beloved locket, and sniffed. She wiped one last tear from her eye, took a deep breath, and slowly departed into the jungle.

Edward Nigma turned to see Helga enter the clearing she had left him in. Instantly, he knew something was wrong. "What happened, Helga?"

The troubled girl shook her head sadly. "I fucked up, Edward. I cost Arnold his parents: the one thing he cared about…and now, he hates me for it." Edward got up and approached the girl, wrapping his arms around her. She returned his embrace, trembling violently in his arms. "It hurts so much, Eddie," she sobbed.

"It'll pass, Helga. I promise."

She was silent for a moment before finally pushing herself away from Edward. She got up and tore off pieces of her dress. She cut her leg on a nearby thorn bush and rubbed the pieces of cloth on her wound.

"What are you doing, Helga?" Edward asked curiously.

"People disappear in the jungle all the time, right?" Edward nodded his head slowly, still not quite understanding what she was up to. She threw the pieces of cloth over a few branches and into some bushes. "Well, let Helga Pataki be one of those unlucky bastards who disappears, too."

"Helga, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about faking my death, Eddie."

Years ago, Helga had been given an offer to give up everything she knew in order to become the protégé of a prominent super-villain. Even now, she wasn't so certain of turning to a life of crime, but there was one thing she WAS certain of: there was nothing left for Helga Pataki back in Hillwood. She would rather people believe she was dead, and start life anew. She knew she would never be able to love again (after all, she had turned down a SUPER-HERO because of her continued infatuation with Arnold, a guy she was certain never wanted to see her again), so why bother trying to live a normal life?

"Why are you talking about faking your death, Helga?"

Helga turned to look Edward confidently in the eyes. "We're going to Gotham City."

* * *

Arnold Shortman had not moved from the spot he had stood when he slapped the girl he loved. He simply stared at his hand, horrified at what he had done. There was absolutely no excuse for his actions.

However, what he had done - terrible though it was - had opened his eyes for the first time in what felt like forever. It was if he had been wearing a blind-fold that someone had just ripped off of him, and the light burned. It burned brightly. His actions chilled him to his very core, and it was at that horrific moment that he realized just how much of an impact Helga Pataki had on his life. The time he spent with his parents were some of the happiest moments of his life, but during all that time, Arnold still felt empty. As if a there were a large void in his soul that he just could not fill. At first, he had believed that it was merely a manifestation of his longing to be part of a family again. How foolish he was! The answer was completely obvious to him now. It wasn't some urge for a family; it was because he missed Helga! Days went by with his parents, and often they would come to him and ask him what was wrong. He would merely smile bitterly and say something like, "Oh, it's just going to take some getting used to; living in the jungle and all." In reality, he just missed Helga.

He needed her like he needed air to breathe. Being away from Helga had changed him. The kind, gentle boy he had once been was buried beneath anger, bitterness, and sorrow. Originally, he had believed that this was due to the loss of his parents. Yet again, he was wrong.

Arnold had been so kind, so gentle…because of Helga. That fateful day at preschool, the first time he had met her, was life-changing for him. He remembered how sad that little girl looked, covered in mud and standing in the rain. 'How could something like that happen to such a beautiful person?' he had thought. He had approached the little girl and brought his umbrella over her protectively. He had told her how he liked her bow (which he did) and walked inside the preschool. He had taken one quick glance back to see the effects his kindness had had on the little girl and was pleased at what he saw. Her smile had melted his heart. Later that day, he had noticed that someone had taken the little girl's snack, so he had taken it upon himself to offer her his. Again, that smile. He had fallen in love instantly. He had vowed to always protect that little girl, no matter what.

Over the years, Helga would resort to petty bullying in order to hide her insecurities, and eventually, Arnold would forget about just how much he truly cared for her. His love was buried deep within his being, and it wasn't until Helga had aided him in locating his parents that he fully realized his love for the young lady. Once again, he had forgotten about his love for her when he had gone to live with his parents in San Lorenzo. How could he be so blind? He sighed heavily.

"You Arnold?"

Arnold looked up to see a young man in a black and red costume heading his way. "Yeah," he answered hesitantly.

The other boy walked right up to Arnold and punched him square in the face, knocking the surprised young man to the cold jungle ground. "If it weren't for a promise I made, I'd be kicking your ass all OVER this jungle," the brightly-dressed teen angrily replied.

Thirty minutes ago, Arnold would have answered the other boy's challenge with a punch of his own. Now, however, he felt it was more than he deserved for what he had done to Helga. "I deserved that," he muttered sadly.

"Damn right you do," Robin agreed. "What the hell did you think you were doing, hitting someone who cares about you so much? And a GIRL, no less!"

Arnold just hung his head and sighed. "I was stupid. I was so angry about what happened to my parents…."

"Yeah," Robin shot back unsympathetically, turning his back towards his blonde rival. "Well I lost my parents, too, but I never ONCE took it out on the people who care about me."

"I know. There's no excuse for what I did. I'd do anything, ANYHING, to take it back. I just wish I knew where she was."

Robin sighed and shook his head. There was a long silence. "You love her?" he finally asked.

"More than anything else in the world," Arnold confidently answered.

"How far are you willing to go to get her back?"

"I would die to have her back in my life. I'd give ANYTHING up for Helga Pataki."

Robin sighed again. "She's heading to Gotham."

"How do you know?"

Robin shrugged. "I… kinda followed her to Nigma. Just to make sure she didn't run into any trouble. I overheard them talking. She's going to Gotham."

There was another long silence as Arnold contemplated his next move as he slowly rose to his feet. "Then that's where I need to go," he said, mostly to himself.

Another long silence.

"Helga Pataki loves you more than anything, too. Hell, she turned down me, a bona fide SUPER-HERO!" He shook his head and sighed. "I just want her to be happy," he said aloud, mostly to himself. He turned, looking Arnold dead in the eye. "You make her happy." He walked over to the other boy and extended his arm.

Arnold, eyes still focused on the young hero, took it, and the two shook hands. "Thank you," he said.

Robin grinned. "C'mon, man," he turned towards the trees. "Let's go get your girl back."

Arnold smiled appreciatively and nodded.

The two then dashed into the jungle, bound for Robin's personal aircraft.

And Gotham City.


End file.
